请哪位高手帮忙修改一下作文，这是本菜鸟的第一篇ARGUMENT，诚谢
TOPIC: ARGUMENT231 - The following appeared in a letter to the editor of a local newspaper."The members of the town school board should not be reelected because they are not concerned about promoting high-quality education in the arts in our local schools. For example, student participation in the high school drama club has been declining steadily, and this year the school board refused to renew the contract of the drama director, even though he had received many awards for his original plays. Meanwhile, over $300,000 of the high school budget goes to athletic programs, and the head football coach is now the highest-paid member of the teaching staff."
WORDS: 515 TIME: 1:18:00 DATE: 2008-8-11
In this argument, the author recommends that the members of the town school board should not be reelected. To support this recommendation the editor notes that the number of student who participate in the high school drma has been deciling, in addition, the cotract of the drama director was not been renewed even though he had received many awards for his original plays. Besides, more than 300,000 dollars of the school budget goes to athletic program and the head footbal coach is been ofered the highest payment.Close scrutiny of the supporing evidence, however, reveals that it depends on several unsubstantial assumption, which render it unconvincing as it stands.
A threshold problem with the argument is the assumption the decline of the students who participate in the drama club is the result of the ignorance of members of the town school board about the art education. However the author overlooks a host of other possible explanations, it is entirely possible that one or more factors were intend responsible for the decline.Perhaps, the total number of the students in local school decreases for some reason, for instance,the reduction of the residents. It is also possible that the students quit the drama club to participtate in the other art entitles such as painting, sculpture or music clubs. Since the arguer fails to consider and rule out these alternative reasons for the decline, I cannot accept any conclusion that the members of the town school board are responsible for this trend.
Even assuming that the members' unawareness of art education results in the decline, it is unfairly to assert that the school board refuse to the renew the contract of the drama director is the sign of not concerning about the education in the arts and an unwise choice. Even though he had received many awards, it is entirely possible that his or her failure in the work plays a crucial role in the decline of students who participate in the drama club. If so, then the board's refusal to renew his contract would indicate that the board tends to reverse the decline, and that the board is in fact concerned about facilitating arts education.
As for the fact that $300,000 is devoted to athletic programs, the editor does not offer the information of the budget for the arts education. It is entirely possible that $300,000 is far smaller than the amount budgeted for the arts. Addtionally, the mere fact that the head football coach is the highest-paid memeber of the teaching staff lend limited support to the conclusion, perhaps the coach's work is heavier than other teachers and deserves that amount of salary. If this is the case, the author cannot confidently draw any conclusion from it.
In sum, the author cannot justify his or her recommendation on the basis of the scant evidence. To bolster it the editor must show that clear evidence that the decision of these board members were responsible for the declining student particiption in drama programs.To better assess the argument I would like to the total budget of the school and the reason why the head football coach has the highest salary,so that I could compare the amount budgeted for the art with that budugeted for other subjects.
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