edison.g的第十次作业issue36 argument169
[size=16pt][size=16pt]The greatness of individuals can be only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries.[/size][size=16pt][/size][size=16pt]个人的伟大不应该由他的同时代的人而应该由后代人来做评价。[/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt]提纲基本同意作者的观点 平衡观点 [/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt]因为有些伟大的人的理论和观点总是超越时代的步伐，导致同时代的人无法理解和认同，但是当考虑到特定领域时有时候需要同时代的人来评价。[/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt]第一段 同意作者的观点在科学领域一些理论发现和成就是需要要后代人来评价的[/size][size=16pt]。[/size][size=16pt]由于有些科学家的观点已经超越时代的理念，一种正确的理论在初期常常被当做错误抛弃或是被宗教当做对立的观点[/size][size=16pt]如魏格纳的例子还有哥白尼的例子。哈维的例子。诺贝尔奖的例子[/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt]第二段 在艺术领域有些艺术家的成就和风格也是会有不被当代人同意的。因为他们的成就已经超出当代人的艺术欣赏力了。如梵高。但是也有很多艺术家的成就和伟大被同时代所认同如米开朗罗，画家毕加索。还有作家莎士比亚[/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt]第三段 但是在政治和商业其他领域体育和娱乐个人的伟大都是由当代人来评价的。如华盛顿和罗斯福。乔布斯。体育[/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt]结尾。平衡观点[/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt]The speaker asserts that the greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries. According to the issue , different people hold different answers in virtue of respective perspectives. Many people consider that it is appropriate that the people who live after them decided the greatness of individuals as the speaker maintains. However, in my point of view,I fundamentally agree with the speaker's assertion. When it comes to certain realms and cases, I remain doubt about the speaker's assertion. As discussed below.[/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt] First of all, it might be desirable to be in favor of the speaker's assertion with considering that some great theories and discoveries should be decided by those who live after them when it comes to science and technology areas. A correct theory and discovery in the early stages are often abandoned or deemed to be regarded as the opposing view of religion which would be at advanced stage to accept the doctrine.Simultaneously only small number of outstanding and great people have the courage to accept the new theories and discoveries. A typical example of this point is the case of Wegener. Wegener who proposed the continental drift theory can never be overestimated. However due to the time restriction on the level of scientific development, continental theroy received a lot of criticism by orthodox scholars.Wegener's theory became beyond the idea of his time. However, Wegner died 30 years later,people finally admitted that the theory is correct. Another apt illustration of this point involves the English physician Harvey. Harvey discovered the circulation of the blood and the role of the heart in propelling it, however the theory refuted the theory of Galen. Harvey suffered from severe criticism by some contemporaries. But at last people recognize the great discoveries. [/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt] When it comes to the art areas, some art work inevitably cannot be decided by their contemporaries.Art tends to facilitate intuitive rather than rational understanding and is usually consciously created by the intention. Therefore some art work's inner meaning became beyond the understanding of their contemporaries. A paragon Van Gogh immediately comes to our mind. Before his death, the painting of Van Gogh was regard as inferior art work which cannot receive the respect and recognition from people. Van Gogh also suffer from great cynicism from his contemporaries a lot who also have some mental problems . However, after his death, people have recognized and understood the values of his painting.Van Gogh received the deserving reputation from people after him. On the other hand, the greatness of artist can be also recognized and decided by contemporaries. Art has the characteristic that we can easily judge and feel the greatness of it.For example,Mechelongelo who was one of the most revered artist in Renaissance created the statue of David which received recognition and compliment from his contemporaries.It is the first artist who have an autobiography of himself before his death.Or consider the musician Beethoven, his talents and gifts was discovered by his contemporaries during his lifelong time.Napoleon also recognized the greatness of Beethoven who let Beethoven write song for him.[/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt] Finally,when it comes to business and politics ares, there is no doubt that the greatness of individuals can be decided and recognized by their contemporaries. As for businessman, we can decide his greatness to see whether he maximize the profits and minimize the cost. As for politics, we can june and decide the greatness of a politic through the progress and contribution he made for country or whether he care about the benefits and interest of citizens.For example, the greatness of Steve Jobs who is the CEO of Apple corporation can be recognized immediately. It is Steve Jobs who pulled Apple from the danger of bankruptcy to a new development period.Or consider the president Georage Washington who gained the independence for American colonies and unified them under federal government who also received the reputation from his contemporaries who is called as the father of America.in other realms like entertainment and sports the greatness of individuals can be decided immediately.[/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt] To sum up, as discussed below, there is no doubt that the greatness of individual can be decided by those who live after them, however we should draw a balance perspectives on the issue as there is no extreme thing in the world. When it comes to certain areas and cases, the greatness of individuals can be decided and recognized immediately.[/size][size=16pt][/size]
[/size] [align=left][size=12pt]169.The following appeared in a letter from a department chairperson to the president of Pierce University.[/size][size=10.5pt][/size][/align]
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[align=left][size=12pt]"Some studies conducted by Bronston College, which is also located in a small town, reveal that both male and female professors are happier living in small towns when their spouses are also employed in the same geographic area. Therefore, in the interest of attracting the most gifted teachers and researchers to our faculty and improving the morale of our entire staff, we at Pierce University should offer employment to the spouse of each new faculty member we hire. Although we cannot expect all offers to be accepted or to be viewed as an ideal job offer, the money invested in this effort will clearly be well spent because, if their spouses have a chance of employment, new professors will be more likely to accept our offers."[/size][size=10.5pt][/size][/align]
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[align=left][size=12pt]对于同样位于小城市的[/size][size=12pt]Bronston[/size][size=12pt]学院所作的一些研究发现，不论男性或女性教授，当他们的配偶在相同的城市有工作时，就更乐于在这些小城市生活。因此，为了吸引最有天分的教师和研究人员加入我们的员工队伍并提高我们员工的士气，我们[/size][size=12pt]Pierce[/size][size=12pt]大学应该为每一个我们所雇佣的新员工的配偶提供就业机会。尽管我们并不期望所有就业机会都会被接受或被看作是理想的工作，我们在这项努力上的投入显然是值得的，因为如果新教授的配偶有就业机会，他们将更乐于在我们学校就职。[/size][size=10.5pt][/size][/align]
[size=16pt]In this argument,the arguer concludes that we at Pierce University should offer employment to the spouse of each new faculty member we hire. To justify this conclusion, the arguer cites the results of the studies conducted by Bronston College that reveal that both male and female professors are happier living in small towns when their spouses are also employed in the same geographic area. In addition, the arguer cites other evidence to substantiate that Pierce College should offer employment to the spouses of each new faculty member we hire. However, careful consideration and examination of these evidence reveal that they fail to lend credible support to the recommendation. As far as I am concerned, the argument is logically flawed at least three aspects, as follows.[/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt] A threshold problem with the argument is that the studies fail to be substantiated to be reliable before I can accept any conclusion based on it. The arguer fails to provide any evidence to substantiate that the number of the respondents is statistically significant and whether the respondents are representative of all the population of people. For instance, if 2000 people were surveyed but only two hundred people responded.It is entirely possible that only a small number of people took part in the study. Therefore, without considering these possibilities, the results of the survey would be highly doubtful. [/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt] Another problem with the argument is that the arguer simply indicate the situation of Bronston College can equate with that of Pierce University. However, there is no compelling evidence to substantiate that Bronston College is analogous to Pierce University. The arguer cannot rely on the study which was conducted by Bronston College to draw the conclusion that Pierce should follow the studies conducted by Bronston. It is entirely possible that the the situation of B is different from P . Without ruling out the forgettable possibilities, the arguer cannot draw any conclusion that P should do as the study recommend.[/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt] Finally, the arguer simply rests on the unreasonable assumption that the spouse of each new faculty member would accept the offer of employment, but does not provided any firm evidence to substantiate that the spouse would accept them. It is equally possible that the spouse of each new faculty member have had employment which are better than those Pierce University offers. Or perhaps the spouse of each new faculty member do not like the employment P offers who will do not accept them. If the argument could not rule out these possibilities, the arguer cannot rely on the assumption to draw any conclusion that the policy is effective.[/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt] In conclusion, the arguer's argument is unpersuasive. In order to make the argument acceptable, the arguer should provide more detailed information concerning the situation of B is the same as P. In addition, I would need adequate evidence that the spouse of each new faculty will accept the employment. Besides, given the unconvincing and irresponsible study, I would need more statistical information about how many people were surveyed.[/size][size=16pt][/size]
小津批改
[size=2]The speaker asserts that the greatness of individuals can be decided only by those who live after them, not by their contemporaries. According to the issue , different people hold different answers in virtue of respective perspectives. Many people consider that it is appropriate that the people who live after them decided the greatness of individuals as the speaker maintains. However, in my point of view,I fundamentally agree with the speaker's assertion. When it comes to certain realms and cases, I remain doubt about the speaker's assertion. As discussed below.[color=darkred]开头段你已经形成跟了自己的风格了吧？很好[/color][/size][size=2][color=#8b0000][/color][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt]First of all, it might be desirable to be in favor of the speaker's assertion with[color=darkred]（by）[/color] considering that some great theories and discoveries should be decided by those who live after them when it comes to science and technology areas. A correct theory and discovery in the early stages are often abandoned or deemed to be regarded as the opposing view of religion which would be at advanced stage to accept the doctrine.Simultaneously only small number of outstanding and great people have the courage to accept the new theories and discoveries. A typical example of this point is the case of Wegener. Wegener who proposed the continental drift theory can never be overestimated. However due to the time restriction on the level of scientific development, continental theroy received a lot of criticism by orthodox scholars.Wegener's theory became beyond the idea of his time. However, Wegner died 30 years later,people finally admitted that the theory is correct. Another apt illustration of this point involves the English physician Harvey. Harvey discovered the circulation of the blood and the role of the heart in propelling it, however the theory refuted the theory of Galen. Harvey suffered from severe criticism by some contemporaries. But at last people recognize the great discoveries. [color=red]你的说理分得是科学，艺术，还有政治商业三个方向展开，比我的有深度多了，我自己写的时候因为时间紧都是糅合在一起的[/color][/size]
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[size=16pt] When it comes to the art areas, some art work（[color=red]s[/color]）作品 inevitably cannot be decided by their contemporaries.Art tends to facilitate intuitive rather than rational understanding and is usually consciously created by the intention. Therefore some art work's inner meaning became beyond the understanding of their contemporaries. A paragon Van Gogh immediately comes to our mind. Before his death, the painting of Van Gogh was regard as inferior art work which cannot receive the respect and recognition from people. Van Gogh also suffer from great cynicism from his contemporaries a lot who also have some mental problems . However, after his death, people have recognized and understood the values of his painting.Van Gogh received the deserving reputation from people after him. On the other hand, the greatness of artist can be also recognized and decided by contemporaries. Art has the characteristic that we can easily judge and feel the greatness of it.For example,Mechelongelo who was one of the most revered artist in Renaissance created the statue of David which received recognition and compliment from his contemporaries.It is the first artist who have an autobiography of himself before his death.Or consider the musician Beethoven, his talents and gifts was discovered by his contemporaries during his lifelong time.Napoleon also recognized the greatness of Beethoven who let Beethoven write song for him.[/size]
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[size=16pt] Finally,when it comes to business and politics ares, there is no doubt that the greatness of individuals can be decided and recognized by their contemporaries. As for businessman, we can decide his greatness to see whether he maximize the（[color=darkred]the删[/color]） profits and minimize the cost. As for politics, we can june and decide the greatness of a politic through the progress and contribution he made for country or whether he care about the benefits and interest of citizens.For example, the greatness of Steve Jobs who is the CEO of Apple corporation can be recognized immediately. It is Steve Jobs who pulled Apple from the danger of bankruptcy to a new development period.Or consider the president Georage Washington who gained the independence for American colonies and unified them under federal government who also received the reputation from his contemporaries who is called as the father of America.in other realms like entertainment and sports the greatness of individuals can be decided immediately.[/size]
[color=red]你的说理论证段落都很长，素材很丰富，我的举例远不及你的丰富啊，现在真的是发现缺的东西与未来越多，但是，我觉得我们两个有一个很相似的地方就是，我们的语言都是中文式的，我之前的文章拿去给外教改时，他就强调说若是一段中说理也举例的话，说理部分最好精炼表意清晰，不要过多解释，因为举例中就是在解释，他说一般英语一个段中句子不会超过7-8句话。虽然经过他的修改，640多单词的作文被改成了只有400单词量，很打击我，但还是觉得有些道理的，你不妨也可以试一下，那样文章字数负担也没那么多
[/color][size=16pt]To sum up, as discussed below, there is no doubt that the greatness of individual can be decided by those who live after them, however we should draw a balance perspectives on the issue as there is no extreme thing in the world. When it comes to certain areas and cases, the greatness of individuals can be decided and recognized immediately.[/size][/size]
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[size=2]记住开头首字母靠前，段与段之间空一行[/size]
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[size=3]In this argument,the arguer concludes that we at Pierce University should offer employment to the spouse of each new faculty member we hire. To justify this conclusion, the arguer cites the results of the studies conducted by Bronston College that reveal that both male and female professors are happier living in small towns when their spouses are also employed in the same geographic area. In addition, the arguer cites other evidence to substantiate that Pierce College should offer employment to the spouses of each new faculty member we hire. However, careful consideration and examination of these evidence reveal that they fail to lend credible support to the recommendation. As far as I am concerned, the argument is logically flawed at least three aspects, as follows.(开[color=red]头好长，其实只要说出主要论点论据就行了吧？这样打字考试时花的时间多）[/color][/size][size=3][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt]A threshold problem with the argument is that the studies fail to be substantiated to be reliable before I can accept any conclusion based on it（[color=darkred]them[/color]) .The arguer fails to provide any evidence to substantiate that the number of the respondents is statistically significant and whether the respondents are representative of all the population of people. For instance, if 2000 people were surveyed but only two hundred people responded.It is entirely possible that only a small number of people took part in the study. Therefore, without considering these possibilities, the results of the survey would be highly doubtful. [/size]
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[size=16pt]Another problem with the argument is that the arguer simply indicate the situation of Bronston College can equate with that of Pierce University. However, there is no compelling evidence to substantiate that Bronston College is analogous to Pierce University. The arguer cannot rely on the study which was conducted by Bronston College to draw the conclusion that Pierce should follow the studies conducted by Bronston. It is entirely possible that the the situation of B is different from P . Without ruling out the forgettable possibilities, the arguer cannot draw any conclusion that P should do as the study recommend.[/size]
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[size=16pt] Finally, the arguer simply rests on the unreasonable assumption that the spouse of each new faculty member would accept the offer of employment（[color=red]这里这样说不好，因为题目中也没有直接这样说的哦只是作者推测，如果spouse同意来P，那么那些professors也会更可能接收工作,）[/color] but does not provided any firm evidence to substantiate that the spouse would accept them. It is equally possible that the spouse of each new faculty member have had employment which are better than those Pierce University offers. Or perhaps the spouse of each new faculty member do not like the employment P offers who will do not accept them. If the argument could not rule out these possibilities, the arguer cannot rely on the assumption to draw any conclusion that the policy is effective.[/size]
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[size=16pt]In conclusion, the arguer's argument is unpersuasive. In order to make the argument acceptable, the arguer should provide more detailed information concerning the situation of B is the same as P. In addition, I would need adequate evidence that the spouse of each new faculty will accept the employment. Besides, given the unconvincing and irresponsible study, I would need more statistical information about how many people were surveyed.[color=red]结尾段很好[/color][/size]
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[color=#ff0000]其实觉得还与欧一个错误，昨天自己写的时候也没发现，刚刚想到的。那个研究中，那些人会feel happier ,如果夫妇在同一个小城，但是不代表实际上就会采取行动在一起，还要考虑实际情况是否可能[/color]
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[size=3]In this argument,the arguer concludes that we at Pierce University should offer employment to the spouse of each new faculty member we hire. To justify this conclusion, the arguer cites the results of the studies conducted by Bronston College that reveal that both male and female professors are happier living in small towns when their spouses are also employed in the same geographic area. In addition, the arguer cites other evidence to substantiate that Pierce College should offer employment to the spouses of each new faculty member we hire. However, careful consideration and examination of these evidence reveal that they fail to lend credible support to the recommendation. As far as I am concerned, the argument is logically flawed at least three aspects, as follows.(开[color=red]头好长，其实只要说出主要论点论据就行了吧？这样打字考试时花的时间多）[/color][/size][size=3][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt]A threshold problem with the argument is that the studies fail to be substantiated to be reliable before I can accept any conclusion based on it（[color=darkred]them[/color]) .The arguer fails to provide any evidence to substantiate that the number of the respondents is statistically significant and whether the respondents are representative of all the population of people. For instance, if 2000 people were surveyed but only two hundred people responded.It is entirely possible that only a small number of people took part in the study. Therefore, without considering these possibilities, the results of the survey would be highly doubtful. [/size]
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[size=16pt]Another problem with the argument is that the arguer simply indicate the situation of Bronston College can equate with that of Pierce University. However, there is no compelling evidence to substantiate that Bronston College is analogous to Pierce University. The arguer cannot rely on the study which was conducted by Bronston College to draw the conclusion that Pierce should follow the studies conducted by Bronston. It is entirely possible that the the situation of B is different from P . Without ruling out the forgettable possibilities, the arguer cannot draw any conclusion that P should do as the study recommend.[/size]
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[size=16pt] Finally, the arguer simply rests on the unreasonable assumption that the spouse of each new faculty member would accept the offer of employment（[color=red]这里这样说不好，因为题目中也没有直接这样说的哦只是作者推测，如果spouse同意来P，那么那些professors也会更可能接收工作,）[/color] but does not provided any firm evidence to substantiate that the spouse would accept them. It is equally possible that the spouse of each new faculty member have had employment which are better than those Pierce University offers. Or perhaps the spouse of each new faculty member do not like the employment P offers who will do not accept them. If the argument could not rule out these possibilities, the arguer cannot rely on the assumption to draw any conclusion that the policy is effective.[/size]
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[size=16pt]In conclusion, the arguer's argument is unpersuasive. In order to make the argument acceptable, the arguer should provide more detailed information concerning the situation of B is the same as P. In addition, I would need adequate evidence that the spouse of each new faculty will accept the employment. Besides, given the unconvincing and irresponsible study, I would need more statistical information about how many people were surveyed.[color=red]结尾段很好[/color][/size]
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[color=#ff0000]其实觉得还与欧一个错误，昨天自己写的时候也没发现，刚刚想到的。那个研究中，那些人会feel happier ,如果夫妇在同一个小城，但是不代表实际上就会采取行动在一起，还要考虑实际情况是否可能[/color]
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[color=#ff0000][/color][/size] [size=16pt]50 in order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach.[/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt]为了提高大学的教学质量，所有的大学老师都应该在于自己所教学科相关的非学术性的职业里工作一段时间[/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt]提纲 基本同意作者的观点 因为大学教师在于自己学科相关非学术性领域工作一段时间有助于老师将理论联系实际和注重实践。能够得到自己领域最前沿的问题。让同学们认识到自己领域的知识是如何运用到实践上的，另一方面能够提供同学对于将来自己职业前景的认识和将来在自己工作所要从事的内容，可以给同学一个很好的职业规划。但是不是所有的领域都是要求大学老师去的。[/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt]第一段 同意作者的观点当考虑，现在世界变得愈来愈复杂和发展速度愈来愈快，以至于书本上的教条和理论尝尝出现跟不上时代发展的步伐。所以这时候需要老师到自己所教学科相关的非学术性的职业里工作一段时间。只有这样才能适应时代的变化。因为大学教师在于自己学科相关非学术性领域工作一段时间有助于老师将理论联系实际和注重实践。能够得到自己领域最前沿的问题。让同学们认识到自己领域的知识是如何运用到实践上的[/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt]第二段 另一方面能够提供同学对于将来自己职业前景的认识和将来在自己工作所要从事的内容，可以给同学一个很好的职业规划。例子[/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt]第三段不是所有领域的大学老师都需要到校外工作一段时间。对于纯理论的科学家，还有艺术家。但是对于管理学的老师需要。[font=Times New Roman]597[/font][font=宋体]字[/font][/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt]The speaker asserts that in order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, it is necessary and appropriate that all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach. According to the issue, different people hold different answers in virtue of respectives perspectives. Many people consider that it it appropriate that the teachers should have the practical experience in the real-world as the speaker maintians. However, in my point of view, I fundamentally agree with the speaker's assertion. But when it comes some certian areas, the recommendation seems unnecessary. As discussed below.[/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt]First of all, it might be desirable to be in favor of the speaker's assertion with considering that some theories and knowledge in the book cannot catch up with the space of the complex and rapid changing world. The situation need us to explore the [/size][size=16pt]practical [/size][size=16pt]and real world to understand and face the new challenges in order to make us adapt to the world. Therefore, as a teacher in college and university inevitably bear the responsibility and obligation to spend time outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach. If a universtiy and college teacher can work outside the academic world, he or she will gain the new trend and challenge in professions areas which benefit the students a lot. For example if a teaher's course was business and commuication, the teacher cannot be regard as a effective and excellent teacher who only teach students the knowlege and theories in the book without any [/size][size=16pt]practical[/size][size=16pt] experience.[/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt] On the other hand, there is no doubt that the teacher who work outside the academic world will be able to indicate the [/size][size=16pt]future[/size][size=16pt] of the students. Teaher is a [/size][size=16pt]teacher[/size][size=16pt] because who not only teach the knowledge of the book but help the students [/size][size=16pt]recognize[/size][size=16pt] how to plan their future career. It is important for a college and university teacher to do that. Can you imagine the situation that the students only have the knowledge but do not clearly know what they will do in the future? Can you imagine the situation that the students who can get full marks in the exam but cannot find any jobs after graduating from university? In order to aviod these situation to happen, every college and university teachers should take the reseponsbility to work outside which will provide the insight and[/size][size=16pt] cognition [/size][size=16pt]of t[/size][size=16pt]heir future [/size][size=16pt]career . [/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt] Finally, beyond the concession that a college and university teacher should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions, however it does not mean that all faculty should bear the responsibiliy and obligation when it comes to certain [/size][size=16pt]realms[/size][size=16pt]. For example, some scientists like physics, [/size][size=16pt]chemist[/size][size=16pt], economists and mathematician attibute their achievement to the large amount of experiments and studies which do not have to work outside the university and college. A typical example is the case of Einstein. If Einstein work outside the academic world to find some jobs which are related to the physics, how could he point out the great theory of [/size][size=16pt]relativity[/size][size=16pt]. [/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt]To sum up, as discussed above, it is necessary and indispensable for the faculty of college and university to spend time time working outside the academic world. Because it can force the faculty to gain the [/size][size=16pt]practical[/size][size=16pt] experience from the real-world that are [/size][size=16pt]conducive [/size][size=16pt]to the students to have promising future. However ,we should draw a balance perspectives on the issue as when it comes some certain ares like art, scientific realms the requirement seems meaningless and [/size][size=16pt]insignificant。[/size]
[[i] 本帖最后由 coxmyself 于 2009-10-27 23:05 编辑 [/i]] [size=15pt]166. the following appeared in a local newspaper[/size][size=15pt][/size]
[size=15pt]People should not be misled by the advertising competition between Coldex and Cold-Away, both popular over-the-counter cold medications that anyone can purchase without a doctor[/size][size=15pt]’[/size][size=15pt]s prescription. Each brand is accusing the other of casuing some well-kown, unwanted side effect: Coldes is kown to contribute to existing high blood pressure and Cold-Away is known to cause drowsiness. But the chocie should be clear for most health-conscious people: Cold-Away has been on the market for much longer and is used by more hospitals than is Coldex. Clearly, Cold-Away is more effective[/size][size=15pt][/size]
[align=left][size=16pt]人们不应该被任何人不用医生处方就可以买到的[/size][size=16pt]OTC[/size][size=16pt]药品[/size][size=16pt]Coldex[/size][size=16pt]和[/size][size=16pt]Cold-Away[/size][size=16pt]之间的广告战所误导。每个牌子都指责另一种药会导致某种众所周知的不良副作用：[/size][size=16pt]Coldex[/size][size=16pt]导致血压升高而[/size][size=16pt]Cold-Away[/size][size=16pt]导致嗜睡。但对于多数关心健康的人来说选择是明显的：[/size][size=16pt]Cold-Away[/size][size=16pt]比[/size][size=16pt]Coldex[/size][size=16pt]上市时间更长而且被更多的医院所使用。显然，[/size][size=16pt]Cold-Away[/size][size=16pt]效果更好。[/size][size=16pt][/size][/align]
[align=left][size=16pt]论断：[/size][size=16pt]CA[/size][size=16pt]更有效。因为[/size][size=16pt]CA[/size][size=16pt]推出的时间长，并被更多医院使用。[/size][size=16pt][/size][/align]
[align=left][size=16pt]1. [/size][size=16pt]没有直接证据证明[/size][size=16pt]CA[/size][size=16pt]更有效，而时间长[/size]
[size=16pt]，用得多不一定代表它就好。[/size][size=16pt] ·C[/size][size=16pt]是新产品，所以在市场上时间短。但它完全有可能用更好更新的技术成果，以及吸取[/size][size=16pt]CA[/size][size=16pt]的经验，从而比[/size][size=16pt]CA[/size][size=16pt]更有疗效。[/size][size=16pt][/size][/align]
[align=left][size=16pt]2. [/size][size=16pt]更多医院用不能说明好。首先可能是因为商业等其他原因使得医院用[/size][size=16pt]CA[/size][size=16pt]。其次，既然该种药品不需要医生建议可以柜台买，说明医生的专业知识并不是最好的建议[/size][size=16pt][/size][/align]
[align=left][size=16pt]3. [/size][size=16pt]：[/size][size=16pt]C[/size][size=16pt]的负作用在大多数人看来可能比较严重，所以限制了它的广泛使用。但是对于治疗感冒它还是有可能比[/size][size=16pt]CA[/size][size=16pt]有效，所以尤其对于没有高血压危险的人来说，[/size][size=16pt]CA[/size][size=16pt]不一定比[/size][size=16pt]C[/size][size=16pt]更有效。[/size][size=16pt][/size][/align]
[size=16pt]In this argument, the arguer concludes that the cold [/size][size=16pt]medications[/size][size=16pt] of Cold-away is more effective than the the brand Coldex. To justify this conclusion, the aruguer cites a series of evidence in order to be in favor the claim. However, careful examination and consideration of these evidence reveal that they fail to lend credible support to the conclusion that the Colod-away is more effective than Coldex. As far as I am concerned, the argument is logically flawed at least three aspects, as follows.[/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt]To begain with, the arguer simply rests on the unreasonable assumption that the fact that Cold-away has been on the market for much longer can prove that the Cold-Away is more effective, but does not provide any firm evidence to substantiate it. Whether it is the case hinge on that the Coldex is less effective. It is entirely possible that the Coldex is a kind of new brand of cold medication which are [/size][size=16pt]actually[/size][size=16pt] more effective than Cold-Away. Or perhaps, the advertising have a effect on the customers which misled people. Without ruling out these possibilies, the arguer cannot draw any conclusion that the Cold-Away is more effective.[/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt] Another problem with the argument is that the arguer indicates the correlation between the fact that Cold-Away is used by more hospitals and that Cold-Away is more effective is causal relationship. However, there is no compelling envidence to substantiate the causal relationship. Other factors fail to be taken into account by the arguer. It is equally possible that in some shop and drug store Coldex is sold more well than Cold-Away since both medication are [/size][size=16pt]sold [/size][size=16pt]without a doctor's prescription. [/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt] Finally, assuming that both the two medication have the above side effects, it seems that the side effect of Coldex is more harm than Cold-Away, which is possible to decline the number of people who will use it. However, it is entirely possible that the medication is more effective than Cold-Away when the people without high blood pressure use it.[/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt] In conclusion, the arguer's argument is unpersuasvie. In order to make it more acceptable, the arguer should provide more detailed information concerining that Cold-Away is more effective due to the fact it has been on the market for much longer. In addition, I would need adequate evidence to substantiate that more hospitals use it in virtue of its effectiveness. Besides, I wonder if the adervertsing misled people. [/size]
之前那篇写了，就没 再写写了这篇限时写的。只是改了几个单词拼写错误的。字数不多。上篇issue也是按时的，不够之后有做了改动。
[[i] 本帖最后由 coxmyself 于 2009-10-27 23:15 编辑 [/i]]
小津批改
[size=5]50 in order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach.[size=16pt][/size][/size][size=16pt]为了提高大学的教学质量，所有的大学老师都应该在于自己所教学科相关的非学术性的职业里工作一段时间[/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt]提纲 基本同意作者的观点 因为大学教师在于自己学科相关非学术性领域工作一段时间有助于老师将理论联系实际和注重实践。能够得到自己领域最前沿的问题。让同学们认识到自己领域的知识是如何运用到实践上的，另一方面能够提供同学对于将来自己职业前景的认识和将来在自己工作所要从事的内容，可以给同学一个很好的职业规划。但是不是所有的领域都是要求大学老师去的。[/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt]第一段 同意作者的观点当考虑，现在世界变得愈来愈复杂和发展速度愈来愈快，以至于书本上的教条和理论尝尝出现跟不上时代发展的步伐。所以这时候需要老师到自己所教学科相关的非学术性的职业里工作一段时间。只有这样才能适应时代的变化。因为大学教师在于自己学科相关非学术性领域工作一段时间有助于老师将理论联系实际和注重实践。能够得到自己领域最前沿的问题。让同学们认识到自己领域的知识是如何运用到实践上的[/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt]第二段 另一方面能够提供同学对于将来自己职业前景的认识和将来在自己工作所要从事的内容，可以给同学一个很好的职业规划。例子[/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt]第三段不是所有领域的大学老师都需要到校外工作一段时间。对于纯理论的科学家，还有艺术家。但是对于管理学的老师需要。[font=Times New Roman]597[/font][font=宋体]字[/font][/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt]The speaker asserts that in order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, it is necessary and appropriate that all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach. According to the issue, different people hold different answers in virtue of respectives perspectives. Many people consider that it it appropriate that the teachers should have the practical experience in the real-world as the speaker maintians.（这个论述我觉得很好，自己写的时候没想到这个） However, in my point of view, I fundamentally agree with the speaker's assertion. But when it comes some certian areas, the recommendation seems unnecessary. As discussed below.[/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt]First of all, it might be desirable to be in favor of the speaker's assertion with considering that some theories and knowledge in the book cannot catch up with the space of the complex and rapid changing world. The situation need us to explore the [/size][size=16pt]practical [/size][size=16pt]and real world to understand and face the new challenges in order to make us adapt to the world. Therefore, as a teacher in college and university inevitably bear（[color=red]换成undertakes比较好[/color]） the responsibility and obligation to spend time outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach. If a universtiy and college teacher can work outside the academic world, he or she will gain the new trend and challenge in professions areas which benefit the students a lot. For example if a teaher's course was business and commuication, the teacher cannot be regard as a effective （[color=red]effective 可以和teacher 搭配吗[/color]？）and excellent teacher who only teach students the knowlege and theories in the book without any [/size][size=16pt]practical[/size][size=16pt] experience.[/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt] On the other hand, there is no doubt that the teacher who work outside the academic world will be able to indicate the [/size][size=16pt]future[/size][size=16pt] of the students. [color=red]Teaher is a [/color][/size][color=red][size=16pt]teacher（？啥意思？不懂，你是想说teaching is a teacher ?)）[/size][/color][size=16pt][color=red] [/color]because who([color=red]这里不需要用从句的，直接用they吧？）[/color] not only teach the knowledge of the book but help the students [/size][size=16pt]recognize[/size][size=16pt] how to plan their future career. It is important for a college and university teacher to do that. Can you imagine the situation that the students only have the knowledge but do not clearly know what they will do in the future? Can you imagine the situation that the students who can get full marks in the exam but cannot find any jobs after graduating from university?（这两个问句设计得很好） In order to aviod these situation to happen, every college and university teachers should take the reseponsbility to work outside which will provide the insight and[/size][size=16pt] cognition [/size][size=16pt]of t[/size][size=16pt]heir future [/size][size=16pt]career . [/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt] Finally, beyond the concession that a college and university teacher should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions, however it does not mean that all faculty should bear the responsibiliy and obligation when it comes to certain [/size][size=16pt]realms[/size][size=16pt].（[color=red]开头论述的很好[/color]） For example, some scientists like physics, [/size][size=16pt]chemist[/size][size=16pt], economists and mathematician attibute their achievement to the large amount of experiments and studies which do not have to work outside the university and college. A typical example is the case of Einstein. If Einstein work outside the academic world to find some jobs which are related to the physics, how could he point out the great theory of [/size][size=16pt]relativity[/size][size=16pt].（[color=red]这段的论述举例的时候觉得有点问题，Edison不一定是在大学里的，还有他可能做的研究是承担了别人的投资的，我自己写的时候觉得找出实例子有些难以说清） [/color][/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt]To sum up, as discussed above, it is necessary and indispensable for the faculty of college and university to spend time time working outside the academic world. Because it can force the faculty to gain the [/size][size=16pt]practical[/size][size=16pt] experience from the real-world that are [/size][size=16pt]conducive [/size][size=16pt]to the students to have promising future. However ,we should draw a balance perspectives on the issue as when it comes some certain ares like art, scientific realms the requirement seems meaningless and [/size][size=16pt]insignificant。[/size]
你45分钟打出这么多单词已经很让我佩服了，我觉得自己在边想边打字时速度就会慢很多，还不能做到不看键盘，啊
郁闷
[[i] 本帖最后由 达朗贝尔 于 2009-10-29 11:19 编辑 [/i]] [size=5]166. the following appeared in a local newspaper[size=15pt][/size]
[/size][size=15pt]People should not be misled by the advertising competition between Coldex and Cold-Away, both popular over-the-counter cold medications that anyone can purchase without a doctor[/size][size=15pt]’[/size][size=15pt]s prescription. Each brand is accusing the other of casuing some well-kown, unwanted side effect: Coldes is kown to contribute to existing high blood pressure and Cold-Away is known to cause drowsiness. But the chocie should be clear for most health-conscious people: Cold-Away has been on the market for much longer and is used by more hospitals than is Coldex. Clearly, Cold-Away is more effective[/size][size=15pt][/size]
[align=left][size=16pt]人们不应该被任何人不用医生处方就可以买到的[/size][size=16pt]OTC[/size][size=16pt]药品[/size][size=16pt]Coldex[/size][size=16pt]和[/size][size=16pt]Cold-Away[/size][size=16pt]之间的广告战所误导。每个牌子都指责另一种药会导致某种众所周知的不良副作用：[/size][size=16pt]Coldex[/size][size=16pt]导致血压升高而[/size][size=16pt]Cold-Away[/size][size=16pt]导致嗜睡。但对于多数关心健康的人来说选择是明显的：[/size][size=16pt]Cold-Away[/size][size=16pt]比[/size][size=16pt]Coldex[/size][size=16pt]上市时间更长而且被更多的医院所使用。显然，[/size][size=16pt]Cold-Away[/size][size=16pt]效果更好。[/size][size=16pt][/size][/align]
[align=left][size=16pt]论断：[/size][size=16pt]CA[/size][size=16pt]更有效。因为[/size][size=16pt]CA[/size][size=16pt]推出的时间长，并被更多医院使用。[/size][size=16pt][/size][/align]
[align=left][size=16pt]1. [/size][size=16pt]没有直接证据证明[/size][size=16pt]CA[/size][size=16pt]更有效，而时间长[/size]
[size=16pt]，用得多不一定代表它就好。[/size][size=16pt] ·C[/size][size=16pt]是新产品，所以在市场上时间短。但它完全有可能用更好更新的技术成果，以及吸取[/size][size=16pt]CA[/size][size=16pt]的经验，从而比[/size][size=16pt]CA[/size][size=16pt]更有疗效。[/size][size=16pt][/size][/align]
[align=left][size=16pt]2. [/size][size=16pt]更多医院用不能说明好。首先可能是因为商业等其他原因使得医院用[/size][size=16pt]CA[/size][size=16pt]。其次，既然该种药品不需要医生建议可以柜台买，说明医生的专业知识并不是最好的建议[/size][size=16pt][/size][/align]
[align=left][size=16pt]3. [/size][size=16pt]：[/size][size=16pt]C[/size][size=16pt]的负作用在大多数人看来可能比较严重，所以限制了它的广泛使用。但是对于治疗感冒它还是有可能比[/size][size=16pt]CA[/size][size=16pt]有效，所以尤其对于没有高血压危险的人来说，[/size][size=16pt]CA[/size][size=16pt]不一定比[/size][size=16pt]C[/size][size=16pt]更有效。[/size][size=16pt][/size][/align]
[size=16pt]In this argument, the arguer concludes that the cold [/size][size=16pt]medications[/size][size=16pt] of Cold-away is more effective than the the brand Coldex. To justify this conclusion, the aruguer cites a series of evidence [color=darkred]in order to be in favor the claim（删掉，和前面to justify the conclusion 重）[/color]. However, careful examination and consideration of these evidence reveal that they fail to lend credible support to the conclusion that the Colod-away is more effective than Coldex. As far as I am concerned, the argument is logically flawed at least three aspects, as follows.[/size]
[size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt]To begain with, the arguer simply rests on the unreasonable assumption that the fact that Cold-away has been on the market for much longer can prove that the Cold-Away is more effective, but does not provide any firm evidence to substantiate it. Whether it is the case hinge on that the Coldex is less effective. It is entirely possible that the Coldex is a kind of new brand of cold medication which are [/size][size=16pt]actually[/size][size=16pt] more effective than Cold-Away. Or perhaps, the advertising have a effect on the customers which misled people. Without ruling out these possibilies, the arguer cannot draw any conclusion that the Cold-Away is more effective.[/size]
[size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt] Another problem with the argument is that the arguer indicates the correlation between the fact that Cold-Away is used by more hospitals and that Cold-Away is more effective is causal relationship. However, there is no compelling envidence to substantiate the causal relationship. Other factors fail to be taken into account by the arguer. It is equally possible that in some shop and drug store Coldex is sold more well than Cold-Away since both medication are [/size][size=16pt]sold [/size][size=16pt]without a doctor's prescription. （[color=red]这一点论述的很好有力度，语句也得体[/color][/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt] Finally, assuming that both the two medication have the above side effects, it seems that the side effect of Coldex is more harm than Cold-Away, which is possible to decline the number of people who will use it. However, it is entirely possible that the medication is more effective than Cold-Away when the people without high blood pressure use it.（[color=red]这个题目自己列国这道题的提纲，当时我没想到这个错误呢。我找的是从广告方方面来说的，因为各自的副作用都是对方作者出来的，也许coldway 还有其他的副作用，又或许colexde 副作用被过分扩大了，肯呢个还不如你的这个有力度）[/color][/size]
[size=16pt] In conclusion, the arguer's argument is unpersuasvie. In order to make it more acceptable, the arguer should provide more detailed information concerining that Cold-Away is more effective due to the fact it has been on the market for much longer. In addition, I would need adequate evidence to substantiate that more hospitals use it in virtue of its effectiveness. Besides, I wonder if the adervertsing misled people. [/size]
你30分钟写出这个很好了，我是虽然写出来的还是超时间
感觉你打字很快的 [size=16pt]103 the study of history was has value only to the extend that it is relevant to our daily lives.[/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt]研究历史的价值只有在这种研究和我们的日常生活相关时才能体现出来 参考[font=Times New Roman]120[/font][/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt]提纲 不是很同意作者的观点。首先历史研究和我们日常生活相关时的价值能够体现出来比如对于我们反思过去犯得的错误时可以避免我们再次犯类似的错误。但是不只是当研究和我们日常生活相关时才能体现出来[/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt]第一段 的确研究历史的价值在与我们日常生活相关时能够很好的体现出来。研究和学习过去的伟人能够激励我们前进塑造我们的性格是我们能够有勇气克服生活中的困难。[font=Times New Roman]120[/font][/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt]第二段 研究历史可以帮助我们很好的避免生活中的错误而且可以使我们受到启发。例如反思我们过去的错误可以避免同类错误发生。研究过去的错误会对现在有指导意义如爱迪生发明灯泡研究过去的。[/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt]第三段 研究历史的价值不只是在于和我们日常生活相关。在科学领域如研究过去的理论可以发展新的理论产生。牛顿，凯恩斯[/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt]在社会层面上还有研究过去战争的原因和损失可以避免新的战争，研究过去我们对环境的破坏可以使我们保护环境，研究过去我们对能源的开采利用可以促使我们保护能源和寻找新能源。以上的所有研究历史都和我们生活无关但是体现了。[/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt]The speaker asserts that only the extent that it is relevant to our daily lives, the study of history have value. According to the issue, different people hold different ansewers in virtue of respective perspectives. Many people consider that it is appropriate that the study of history should be related to our daily lives as the speaker maintains. However, in my point of view, I remian doubt about the speaker's assertion as the speaker does not take into account the importance of the study of history in other aspects. As discussed below. [/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt] First of all, it might be deriable to be in favor of the speaker's assertion with considering that the study of history can inspire us and lit our spirit when it comes to our daily lives. A typical example of this point is the study of past great person. Study the past great figure can grant our great courage to face the adverstiy in our lives. Roosevelt who suffered from disability in his legs remain isolated and aloof in his childhood. But he never give up and ultimately became the president of America by his confidence, courage and perseverance. This kind of story would inspire us and spark our spirit. Another apt illustration of this point involves the student's choice about his future career. Students might pursue a career due to reading an autobiography of great person.In a word, history as a mirror is used to serve a study of past which reveal how people and society functioned and prompt practical experience and efforts of our ancestors. If we learn about these values of past, we can deal with the everyday business of living.[/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt] Another reason why I essentially agree with the speaker's assetion is that the study of history can help us aviod repeating mistakes made in past when it comes to our daily lives. No man is perfect that everyone is possible to make same mistakes. If we can look back for an understanding the past, some mistakes can be avioded. For exmple, the great inventor Edison made more than a thousand experiments to invent the light and then finally made it. If the inventor did not study the error every time he made how could he find the [/size][size=16pt]appropriate filament [/size][size=16pt]of light. There is on doubt that study of history can help us aviod mistakes.[/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt] Finally,beyond the concession that the study of history has great value, however, I nevertheless disagree with that only to the extend that it is relevant ot our daily lives the study of history has value. On the societal level, the study of the Second World War can show us the disaster that the war give us, which can show valueable lessons towards leadership by avioding mistake made by past commanders. Study of the past like the proliferation of the nuclear weapons and depletion of the atmospheric to see what we have done towards our world and the challenge we face today and we need redouble our efforts in order to make our society a better place. Looking back for an understanding of past is one of the best avenues to maintain the stability of modern society an also contributes to the progress of human civilization. On the scientific level, Keynes laid the foundation for the branch of economics termed Microeonomic which is based on the theory of David Ricardo. Or consider the great scientist Newton. Newton's Low of Motion have been pointed out which is based on the Newton's generalization of the large predecessors. The examples above are all beyond our daily life.[/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt] To sum up, as discussed above, we should draw a balance perspectives on the issue whether the study of history have value only to the extend that it is relevant to our daily life or not.There is no doubt that the study of history have great value when it is relevant to our daily life. However, in fact the study of history have value in many aspects which are beyond the daily life.[/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt][/size] [size=16pt]233.[/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt]in this argument, the vice president concludes that we should contract with Appian Roadways rather than McAdam Road Builders to construct the access roads for all our new shopping malls. To justify this conclusion, the vice president cites a series evidence to substantiate that the Appian Roadways is better than McAdam. However, careful examination and consideration of these evidence reveal that they fail to lend credible support to the recommendation. As far as I am concerned, the argument is logically flawed at least three aspects, as follows.[/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt] A threshold problem with this argument is that the arguer simply equate the situation of Route101 with Route66. However, there is no compelling evidence to substantiate that the former is analogous to the latter. Therefore, the arguer cannot compare Route101 with Route66. Other different factors fail to be taken into account by the arguer. It is entirely possible that a larger number of driver use the Route10 but only a small number of people use Route66. Without ruling out and considering the possibilities, the arguer cannot draw any conclusion that Appian Roadways is better than McAdam.[/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt] Another problem with the argument is that the arguer simply indicates that only a section of Route66 is still in good condition but does not provide any evidence to substantiate that all the sections of Route66 are in good condition It is equally possible that the other sections of Route66 are badly cracked and marred by dangerous potholes. Or perhaps other sections of Route101 are all in a good condition. Since the arguer fails to provide more information about the situation of the two roads, the arguer cannot confidently draw any conclusion that[/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt] Finally, the arguer falsly rests on the unreasonable assumption that the state-of-the-art paving machinery can be used in our new shopping mall project but does not provide adequate evidence to substantiate that it is the case. Whether it is the case hinge on the plan of the company. It is entirely possible that Appian Roadways will use it on other projects rather than our new shopping malls. On the other hand, the arguer assumes the new quality-control manager have a good ability to deal with these thing. It is entirely possible that the new manager is not familiar with the new jobs. If the arguer cannot eliminate these possibilties, the arguer cannot draw any conclusion that the Appian Roadways is better.[/size][size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt] In conclusion, the arguer's argument is unpersuasive. In order to make it more acceptable, the arguer should provide more information about the two roads. In addition, I would need more adequate evidence to substantiate that Appian will use the new machinery. Simultaneously, the arguer should give the audiences more information about the ability of the new manager.[/size][size=16pt][/size]
顶个
(～ o ～)~zZ赞同你哦 顶个贴支持
[img]http://img.china.alibaba.com/club/upload/user/4/3/7/7/437783248467f86b23a809975270c403.gif[/img]
[url=http://blog.sina.com.cn/zhuoyueyamaxun123/][color=black]卓越亚马逊[/color][/url]
小津批改12次作业
[size=16pt]233.[/size][size=16pt][/size][size=16pt]in this argument, the vice president concludes that we should contract with Appian Roadways rather than McAdam Road Builders to construct the access roads for all our new shopping malls. To justify this conclusion, the vice president cites a series evidence to substantiate that the Appian Roadways is better than McAdam. However, careful examination and consideration of these evidence reveal that they fail to lend credible support to the recommendation. As far as I am concerned, the argument is logically flawed at least three aspects, as follows.[/size]
[size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt]A threshold problem with this argument is that the arguer simply equate the situation of Route101 with Route66. However, there is no compelling evidence to substantiate that the former is analogous to the latter. Therefore, the arguer cannot compare Route101 with Route66([color=red]觉得这句话这么说好像不是那么好，最好改成It is meaningless to compare the situation of Route101 with that of Route 66 at present[/color]). Other different factors fail to be taken into account by the arguer. It is entirely possible that a larger number of driver use the Route10 but only a small number of people use Route66. Without ruling out and considering the possibilities, the arguer cannot draw any conclusion that Appian Roadways is better than McAdam.([color=red]这里可以把possibility多举一个，而中间的Other different factors ..那句可以略去，因为和最后的总结有些重）[/color][/size]
[size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt]Another problem with the argument is that the arguer simply indicates that only a section of Route66 is still in good condition [color=darkred]but does not[/color] [color=darkred]provide(改为without providing)[/color] any evidence to substantiate that all the sections of Route66 are in good condition It is equally possible that the other sections of Route66 are badly cracked and marred by dangerous potholes. Or perhaps other sections of Route101 are all in a good condition. Since the arguer fails to provide more information about the situation of the two roads, the arguer cannot confidently draw any conclusion that（[color=red]后面的忘记补上吧？这里我对于题目的理解上当初有些不确定，按照题目说的 The surface of a section of Route 101, aved two years ago by mcAdam road Builders,...我觉得理解的时候就有歧义，不敢确定整个101都是McAdam修的还是只有那一段是他修的，所以在写这个错误的时候我不敢提101或66的其他段）[/color][/size]
[size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt]Finally, the arguer falsly rests on the unreasonable assumption that the state-of-the-art paving machinery can be used in our new shopping mall project but does not provide adequate evidence to substantiate that it is the case. Whether it is the case hinge on（[color=red]Hinge on 不应该写成hinging on 吗？[/color]） the plan of the company. It is entirely possible that Appian Roadways will use it on other projects rather than our new shopping malls. On the other hand, the arguer assumes the new quality-control manager have a good ability to deal with these thing. It is entirely possible that the new manager is not familiar with the new jobs. If the arguer cannot eliminate these possibilties, the arguer cannot draw any conclusion that the Appian Roadways is better.[/size]
[size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt]In conclusion, the arguer's argument is unpersuasive. In order to make it more acceptable, the arguer should provide more information about the two roads. In addition, I would need more adequate evidence to substantiate that Appian will use the new machinery. Simultaneously, the arguer should give the audiences more information about the ability of the new manager.[/size]
这是限时间写的吗？30分钟写的很不错了[size=16pt][/size]
批改
[size=5]The speaker asserts that only the extent that it is relevant to our daily lives, the study of history have value. According to the issue, different people hold different ansewers in virtue of respective perspectives. Many people consider that it is appropriate that the study of history should be related to our daily lives as the speaker maintains. However, in my point of view, I remian doubt about the speaker's assertion as the speaker does not take into account the importance of the study of history in other aspects([color=darkred]觉得最后这句话不够清楚表达观点，可以说细致的[/color]） 。As discussed below. [/size][size=5][size=16pt][/size]
[/size][size=16pt]First of all, it might be deriable to be in favor of the speaker's assertion with considering that the study of history can inspire us and lit our spirit when it comes to our daily lives. A typical example of this point is the study of past great person. Study the past great figure can grant our great courage to face the adverstiy in our lives. Roosevelt who suffered from disability in his legs remain isolated and aloof in his childhood. But he never give up and ultimately became the president of America by his confidence, courage and perseverance. This kind of story would inspire us and spark our spirit. Another apt illustration of this point involves the student's choice about his future career. Students might pursue a career due to reading an autobiography of great person.In a word, history as a mirror is used to serve a study of past which reveal how people and society functioned and prompt practical experience and efforts of our ancestors. If we learn about these values of past, we can deal with the everyday business of living.[/size]
[size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt] Another reason why I essentially agree with the speaker's assetion is that the study of history can help us aviod repeating mistakes made in past when it comes to our daily lives. No man is perfect that everyone is possible to make same mistakes. If we can look back for an understanding the past, some mistakes can be avioded. For exmple, the great inventor Edison made more than a thousand experiments to invent the light and then finally made it. If the inventor did not study the error every time he made how could he find the [/size][size=16pt]appropriate filament [/size][size=16pt]of light. There is on doubt that study of history can help us aviod mistakes.[/size]
[size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt] Finally,beyond the concession that the study of history has great value, however, I nevertheless disagree with that only to the extend that it is relevant ot our daily lives the study of history has value. On the societal level, the study of the Second World War can show us the disaster that the war give us, which can show valueable lessons towards leadership by avioding mistake made by past commanders. Study of the past like the proliferation of the nuclear weapons and depletion of the atmospheric to see what we have done towards our world and the challenge we face today and we need redouble our efforts in order to make our society a better place. Looking back for an understanding of past is one of the best avenues to maintain the stability of modern society an also contributes to the progress of human civilization. On the scientific level, Keynes laid the foundation for the branch of economics termed Microeonomic which is based on the theory of David Ricardo. Or consider the great scientist Newton. Newton's Low of Motion have been pointed out which is based on the Newton's generalization of the large predecessors. The examples above are all beyond our daily life.[/size]
[size=16pt][/size]
[size=16pt]To sum up, as discussed above, we should draw a balance perspectives on the issue whether the study of history have value only to the extend that it is relevant to our daily life or not.There is no doubt that the study of history have great value when it is relevant to our daily life. However, in fact the study of history have value in many aspects which are beyond the daily life.[/size][size=16pt][/size]
[color=red]你的文章内容都是很丰富的，总是有话可写，这点自叹不如啊。[/color]
[color=red]现在要改的就是把语言进行润色了，语言不地道，很多chinglish[/color] 高手 ::11 [size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=5][size=10.5pt][size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt]208 [/size][size=10.5pt][b]the way people look, dress, and act reveals their attitudes and interests. You can tell much about a society's ideas and values by observing the appearance and behaviour of its people.[/b][/size][size=10.5pt][b][/b][/size]
[size=10.5pt]人们的眼神，衣着和行动表现出来他们的态度和兴趣。你可以通过观察人们的外表和行为来获知这个社会的思想和价值观。[/size][size=10.5pt]与[font=Times New Roman]123[/font][font=宋体]相似[/font][/size][size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt]提纲平衡观点人们的眼神衣着和行动的确可以表现出来人们态度和兴趣但是只是根据这些还不足以来获知这个社会的思想和价值观而且其他方面比如文化和历史宗教可以来获知这个社会的思想和价值观[/size][size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt]第一段 当涉及到特殊的衣着和行为时是可以的确可以表现出人的态度和兴趣并且获得社会的思想和价值观。比如在穿着上中国人穿童装和旗袍还有日本人穿和服都显示了社会的价值观和思想还有对于阿拉伯国家的妇女必须戴面罩的习俗也体现了社会的思想和价值观。[/size][size=10.5pt]面纱（[font=Times New Roman]yashmak)[/font][font=宋体]伊斯兰教[/font][font=Times New Roman]islam[/font][font=宋体]阿拉伯[/font][font=Times New Roman]Arab[/font][/size][size=10.5pt]对于行为比如一些[font=Times New Roman]rituals and ceremonies [/font][font=宋体]人过的节日如中国的春节各地的亲人都回家过年的行为和[/font][font=Times New Roman]eating dumplings, extending good wishes for New Year, having couplets on doors hanging lanterns and set free fireworks[/font][font=宋体]等等的一系列行为都显示了社会的思想和价值观[/font][/size][size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt]第二段 但是在很多正常情况下通过一个人的外表和行为是很难获知社会的思想和价值观。因为我们社会是一个被同化的社会任何人的穿衣打扮差不多。也许你可以从他们的行为和打扮上得知他们的兴趣和爱好但是想获得社会的价值观和思想是不容易的。比如我们可以同过穿着区分体育爱好者和音乐爱好者通过他们的衣服。还有价值观是存在人们内心最深层次的对社会和自己价值的认识除非通过特殊穿着和行为是不能够得知的[/size][size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt]第三段要获得价值观和社会思想只是看行为和打扮是不够的。还要看的法制如**主义还是资本主义，民主还有文化和历史等的综合的评价和看法[/size]
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[size=5]
[/size]
[size=5][size=10.5pt]The speaker asserts that we can tell much about a society's idears and values by observing the appearance and behaviror of its people that reveals their attitudes and interests. According to the issue, different people hold different answers in virtue of their respective perspectives. Many people believe that it is a good way to pursue a society's ideas and vaules through the look, dress and act of people as the speaker maintains. However, in my point of view, I fundamentally agree with the speaker's assertion. But it is not the only way to obtain the society's ideas and values. As discussed below.[/size][size=10.5pt][/size][/size]
[size=4][size=10.5pt] First of all, it might be desirable to be in favor of the speaker's assertion with considering that the look, dress and act can help define a culture that reveal the ideas, values and identity of the society when it comes to some certian cases.[/size][size=10.5pt] A typical example of this point is the different traditon dress between different countries. Chinese women dress the cheongsam in the past and some traditional festival nowadays, and Japanese women dress kimono in some traditional fesvtials which express the society's attitudes toward the sense of aesthetic and reveal the society's values of dressing[/size][size=10.5pt].[/size][size=10.5pt] Or consider Muslin women who use the yashmak to cover their face in public. The behavior of wearing the yashmak not only define a culture but reveal the values of the society.[/size]
[size=10.5pt]Another apt illustration of this point is the beahviors of people in different rituals and ceremonies help define and reveal a soceity's ideas and values. When the Spring Festivals is approching, all members of a family will get together to celeberate the festival. Chinese people celebrate the Spring Festival with many rituals and ceremonies like eating dumplings, extending good wishes for New Year, having the atithetical couplets, hanging laterns on doors and setting off free fireworks that help define a culture . The culturel tell much about a society's ideas and values that Chinese people regard family very important and the wish for new year can bring fortunate to them and so on.[/size]
[size=10.5pt]There is no doubt that the appearance and beahviors of people can tell much about the society's ideas and valus when it comes to certain cases.[/size][size=10.5pt][/size][/size]
[size=4][size=10.5pt] Beyond the concession that the apperance and behavior of its people play a signficant role in revealing the society's ideas and values, however, when it comes to an extensive border, the function of the appearance and behavior of people that reveal a society's ideas and values might be undermined. Because the globalization develop so fast, the way people look, dress and act might reveal their attitudes and interests but hardly tell much about the society's ideas and values. The dress, look and act are almost similar with each other. For example, the dress of a hip-hop music fun is different from the businessman. we can easily distingusih each from them and also tell the different interests among them. But can we really recognize the society's ideas and values from the dress,look? Certainly not.[/size][size=10.5pt][/size][/size]
[size=4][size=10.5pt] Finally, in fact, there are many other good ways to reveal the society's ideas and values. We can recognize and understand a society's ideas and value through architecture, the culture,history and the system of society. [/size][size=10.5pt]For example consider the the ancient Great Wall which reflect an overriding concern the military security. Or consider the Forbidden City which reflect the great power and honor of autarch. Different societal system reveal different ideas and values like the capitalism and socialism.[/size][size=10.5pt][/size][/size]
[size=10.5pt][size=4] To sum up, as discussed below, there is no duobt the way people look, dress and act reveal a society's ideas and values when it comes to certian cases. However, in a extensive border, the appearance and behavior of its people is hard to reveal the ideas and valus which is under the water below.On the other hand, the way people look,dress and act is not the only way to reveal the soceity's ideas and values.[/size][/size]
小津批改
The speaker asserts that we can tell much about a society's idears and values by observing the appearance and behaviror of its people that reveals their attitudes and interests. According to the issue, different people hold different answers in virtue of their respective perspectives. Many people believe that it is a good way to pursue a society's ideas and vaules through the look, dress and act of people as the speaker maintains.[color=blue] However, in my point of view, I fundamentally agree with the speaker's assertion. But it is not the only way to obtain the society's ideas and values. As discussed below.这个中间关系有毛病，不应该用however吧？[/color][color=blue]
[/color][size=4][size=10.5pt] First of all, it might be desirable to be in favor of the speaker's assertion with considering that the look, dress and act can help define a culture that reveal the ideas, values and identity of the society when it comes to some certian cases.[/size][size=10.5pt] A typical example of this point is the different traditon dress between different countries. Chinese women dress the cheongsam in the past and some traditional festival nowadays, and Japanese women dress kimono in some traditional fesvtials which express[color=red]es[/color] the society's attitudes toward the sense of aesthetic [color=red]feeling[/color] and reveal[color=red]s[/color] the society's values of dressing[/size][size=10.5pt].[/size][size=10.5pt] Or consider Muslin women who use the yashmak to cover their face in public. The behavior of wearing the yashmak not only define a culture but reveal the values of the society.[/size][/size]
[size=4]
[size=10.5pt]Another apt illustration of this point is the beahviors of people in different rituals and ceremonies help define and reveal a soceity's ideas and values. When the Spring Festivals is approching, all members of a family will get together to celeberate the festival. Chinese people celebrate the Spring Festival with many rituals and ceremonies like eating dumplings, extending good wishes for New Year, having the atithetical couplets([color=red]对联antitheses couplets 吧?)[/color], hanging laterns on doors and setting off free fireworks that help define a culture . The culturel tell much about a society's ideas and values that Chinese people regard family very important and the wish for new year can bring fortunate to them and so on.[/size]
[size=10.5pt]There is no doubt that the appearance and beahviors of people can tell much about the society's ideas and valus when it comes to certain cases.[/size]
[size=10.5pt][/size][/size]
[size=4][size=10.5pt][color=blue]Beyond the concession that the apperance and behavior of its people play a signficant role in revealing the society's ideas and values, however, when it comes to an extensive border, the function of the appearance and behavior of people that reveal a society's ideas and values might be undermined. 这里说的有些罗嗦了，直接提出发面看法就行了[/color]Because the globalization develop so fast, the way people look, dress and act might reveal their attitudes and interests but hardly tell much about the society's ideas and values. The dress, look and act are almost similar with each other. For example, the dress of a hip-hop music fun is different from the businessman. we can easily distingusih each from them and also tell the different interests among them. But can we really recognize the society's ideas and values from the dress,look? Certainly not.[/size][/size]
[size=4][size=10.5pt][/size][/size]
[size=4][size=10.5pt] Finally, in fact, there are many other good ways to reveal the society's ideas and values. We can recognize and understand a society's ideas and value through architecture, the culture,history and the system of society. [/size][size=10.5pt]For example consider the the ancient Great Wall which reflect an overriding concern the military security. Or consider the Forbidden City which reflect the great power and honor of autarch. Different societal system reveal different ideas and values like the capitalism and socialism.[/size][/size]
[size=4][size=10.5pt][/size][/size]
[size=10.5pt][size=4]To sum up, as discussed below, there is no duobt the way people look, dress and act reveal a society's ideas and values when it comes to certian cases. However, in a extensive border, the appearance and behavior of its people is hard to reveal the ideas and valus which is under the water below.On the other hand, the way people look,dress and act is not the only way to reveal the soceity's ideas and values.[/size][/size]
[size=4]结尾可以升华的，提出自己的小思想，这一点我们两个都没注意到的[/size]
[size=4]后面再加油啊[/size]
[size=4]你就是后面的最后一点没写完吧？还是可以先写好每一段的主题句，订好框架后再去润色，这样比较保险的[/size] [size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt]88 [/size][size=10.5pt][b]technologies not only influence but actually determine social customs and ethics.[/b][/size][size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt]科学技术不但影响而且决定了社会风俗和道德规范[/size][size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt]提纲 [font=Times New Roman]Partly agree[/font][/size][size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt]科学技术的确影响了社会风俗和道德规范但是却不能够决定他们[/size][size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt]第一段 科学技术日新月异取得了巨大的进步。毫无疑问科学技术在影响我们的社会风俗传统。科学技术的进步在社会生活领域如网上购物方便购买产品，电子邮件代替传统的书信方便了人与人之间的交流。新的交通工具飞机，火车的出现代替轮船和车。在工业领域，工业**瓦特的蒸汽机的发明，和一些新的技术和工具的发明代替了传统的老的方式大大提高了工业的效率。[/size][size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt]第二段 科学技术影响人们的道德规范。科学技术是具有两面性的。我们可以利用科学技术去造福人类，如一些科学技术在医疗上的应用造福人类。[font=Times New Roman]Medical technology advances in the 20[/font][/size][size=10.5pt]th[/size][size=10.5pt] century medical technology have been astounding. Armed with only a few instruments in 1990, medical professionals now have an arsenal of diagnostic and treatment equipment at their disposal. Artificial organs, replacement joints, imaging technologies and biomaterials are but a few of the engineered products that improve the quality of life for millions.[font=宋体]可以改写。但是另一方面科学技术有时是我们的道德规范陷入危险和两难的境地之中。如对于安乐死和堕胎的不同观点。有人认为它们是不道德的，触犯了道德伦理但是有人认为它们是对的。还有对于克隆人的不同看法，克隆技术使人类伦理道德处于前所未有的危机之中。还有对于核武器的利用的探讨是否违反了人类伦理道德规范。有些人用掌握的先进技术进行犯罪如网络黑客窃取别人的信息。[/font][/size][size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt]第三段 科学技术知识对于社会传统和道德产生了影响，并不能决定他们。真正决定他们的是我们的价值观念对于善恶的评判标准和我们社会的文化。因此人们应该正确引导科[/size][size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt]The speaker asserts that technologies not only influence but actually determine social customs and ethics. According to the issue, different people hold different answers in virtue of respective perspetives. Many people believe that technologies exert a huge influence on our life as the speaker maintains. However, in my point of view, I agree with that technologies definitely influence social customs and ethics but cannot determine social customs and ethics. As discussed below. [/size][size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt] First of all, it might be desirable to be in favor of the speaker's assertion with considering that technologies have changed our life and our social customs have been deeply affected by the technologies. A typical example of this point is the way that people communicate with each other. As the internet develop so fast, more and more people use the e-mail to communicate with each other instead of the old way that use the letter.The new trend that buy some thing in the internet is popular with a lot of people, as a result people do not need go out to buy the thing they want . Consider the medical technologies advances that make people live better and longer. Or conside the technologies used in the transpotation. People can take the plane to go everywhere they want within only a short period of time. Therefore, the thechnologies have a significant influence on the social customs.[/size][size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt] When it comes to ethics, there is no doubt that technologies play a significant role in influencing the ethic of human being. People often fall inot a[/size][size=10.5pt] dilemma[/size][size=10.5pt] when the technologies are related to the ethic of human beings. For example, the technologies that how to clone a man is forbidden by all over the world, because it will offend the ethic of human beings. Another apt illustration of this point involves thet nuclear technologies. Some people might point out the quesiton that[/size][size=10.5pt] is it appropriate [/size][size=10.5pt]that we develop the nuclear technologies ? We cannot ignore the benefits and profits that the nuclear energy bring to us in the first place. However, when it comes to the nuclear weapons and atomic bomb, our heart will fall into a [/size][size=10.5pt]dilemma[/size][size=10.5pt] because the technologies about the nuclear weapons and atomic threaten the life of people. [/size][size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt] Beyond the concession that technologies have a profund and huge influence on the social customs and ethic, However, I nevertheless disagree with that the technologies can determine the social customs and ethics. The key factors that can determine the socail customs and ethics are the culture and the sense of identity and values.For example, some social customs and ethic experience the age of advance technologies but still remian the same. Chinese people celerbrate the spring festival from several thousand years ago to our day with many rituals and ceremonies remianed the same like eating dumplings, extending good wishes for New Year, having atithetical couplets, hanging lantern on the door and setting free fireworks. On the other hand, whether a man commit crimes or do as good citizens depends on his sense of moral values. [/size][size=10.5pt]Therefore[/size][size=10.5pt], the culture and the sense of moral values determine the ethic and social customs.[/size][size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt]To sum up, as discussed above, I agree with the speaker's assertion that technologies can influence the social customs and ethic.Beacuse the behaviors of human being is being changed by the technologies. However, the technologies cannot determine the social customs and ethics as the key factors that determine the social customs and ethics are the culture and the snese of values. [/size]
[size=10.5pt]这是第二次模考的第一次竟然忘了保存了。第二次明显比第一次多写了很多。只是做了把错误的单词改了一下，和改了几个句子的结构基本上是和毛考完后的一样的[/size]
[[i] 本帖最后由 coxmyself 于 2009-11-7 01:46 编辑 [/i]]
小津批改
The speaker asserts that technologies not only influence but actually determine social customs and ethics. According to the issue, different people hold different answers in virtue of respective perspetives. Many people believe that technologies exert a huge influence on our life as the speaker maintains. However, in my point of view, [color=blue]I agree with that technologies definitely influence social customs and ethics but cannot determine social customs and ethics. As discussed below. 这个总结你的论点很精练很好[/color][size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt] First of all, it might be desirable to be in favor of the speaker's assertion with considering that technologies have changed our life and our social customs have been deeply affected by the technologies. [color=blue]A typical example of this point is the way that people communicate with each other[/color].[color=red]这句话感觉还没表达完吧？我觉得便于评卷人评分，将要点清晰标出[/color] As the internet develop so fast, more and more people use the e-mail to communicate with each other instead of the old way that use the letter.The new trend that buy some thing in the internet is popular with a lot of people, as a result people do not need go out to buy the thing they want . Consider the medical technologies advances that make people live better and longer. Or conside the technologies used in the transpotation. People can take the plane to go everywhere they want within only a short period of time. Therefore, the thechnologies have a significant influence on the social customs.[/size]
[size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt] When it comes to ethics, there is no doubt that technologies play a significant rol[/size][size=10.5pt]e in influencing the ethic of human being. People often fall inot（[color=red]into） [/color]a[/size][size=10.5pt] dilemma[/size][size=10.5pt] when the technologies are related to the ethic of human beings. For example, the technologies that how to clone a man is forbidden by all over the world, because it will offend the ethic of human beings. Another apt illustration of this point involves thet nuclear technologies. Some people might point out the quesiton that[/size][size=10.5pt] is it appropriate [/size][size=10.5pt]that we develop the nuclear technologies ? We cannot ignore the benefits and profits that the nuclear energy bring to us in the first place. However, when it comes to the nuclear weapons and atomic bomb, our heart will fall into a [/size][size=10.5pt]dilemma[/size][size=10.5pt] because the technologies about the nuclear weapons and atomic threaten the life of people. [/size]
[size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt] Beyond the concession that technologies have a profund and huge influence on the social customs and ethic, However, I nevertheless disagree with that the technologies can determine the social customs and ethics. The key factors that can determine the socail customs and ethics are the culture and the sense of identity and values.For example, some social customs and ethic experience the age of advance technologies but still remian the same. Chinese people celerbrate the spring festival from several thousand years ago to our day with many rituals and ceremonies remianed the same like eating dumplings, extending good wishes for New Year, having atithetical couplets, hanging lantern on the door and setting free fireworks. On the other hand, whether a man commit crimes or do as good citizens depends on his sense of moral values. [/size][size=10.5pt]Therefore[/size][size=10.5pt], the culture and the sense of moral values determine the ethic and social customs.[color=red]越发的感觉issue的素材和话题都是相通的了[/color][/size]
[size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt]To sum up, as discussed above, I agree with the speaker's assertion that technologies can influence the social customs and ethic.Beacuse the behaviors of human being is being changed by the technologies. However, the technologies cannot determine the social customs and ethics as the key factors that determine the social customs and ethics are the culture and the snese of values. [color=red]结尾还可以加一两句话升华的[/color][/size]
[color=red][/color]
以我的观点来看，这篇就就好了很多，没有过多的重复罗嗦，每段也有总结句子，进步神速，我也要加油了，明天早上交作文给你看 TOPIC: ISSUE43 - "To be an effective leader, a public official must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards."
WORDS: 595 TIME: 00:45:00 DATE: 2009/11/7 20:20:28
The speaker asserts that in order to be an effective leader a public offical must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards. According to the issue, different people hold different answers in virtue of their respective perspectives.Many people believe that the an effective leader should be the model of the sciety who should hold the highest ethical and moral standards as the speaker maintains. However, in my point of view, I strongly agree with the speaker's assertion. As discussed below.
First of all, it might be desirable to be in favor of the speaker's assertion with considering that the high ethical and moral standards play a significant role in the business which are related to the stability and development of a company. When it comes to business, only the effective leader who hold the high ethical and moral standards can lead the company to a new development period, otherwise the company will breakdown. A typical example of this point is the Enron Scandal. Many company use the accunting to make earning and modify the balance sheet to portray a favorable depiction of its performance in order to get more investment from the public. These serious of immoral behaviors result in bankruptcy and loss of people's profits. Or consider the great womant Martha Strewart who lied to the congress about his regulation in order to make more profits. therefore the highest ethical and moral standards is of importance to an effective leader who are major in business.
When it comes to political areas, it is undeniable that any political leader who want to receive the respect and recognition from the public must maintain the higist ethical and mora standars. If a political officials and leaders would not maintain the hightest ethical and mora standards, the underpinning of any democratic countries would have been undermined. The political leader are inclined to abuse their power without holding a high ethical and moral standards. Two examples will be in support of this point. In the first place, presidents Nixon use his power to without information that he is related to the Watergate which not only result in his resignation but infringe the interests and benefits of people. Or consider the Iran-Conra affair. Several administration officials used their power to facilitate the sales of arms to Iran that ignore the democratic system. Both two examples above indicate that any political leaders who want to be an effective leader should be maintain the hightest ethcial and moral behavior instead of abusing their power.
Finally, no matter what professionals the leader is, any effective leaders should be charimatic and with highest moral and ethical. Because, they are the epitomes of our society who are supposed to be model of the masse. The effective leader invarily make the crucail decisions and ideas. Imagine the leader with a low ethical and moral standards, how could he convince of people to believe him and follow him. The highest ethical and moral standars is the basis of an effective leaders. Only in this way, can the leader contribute to the progress of our society.
To sum up, as discussed above, it is indisputable that a public offical must maintain the highest ethical and mora standards. Becuase, when it comes to business, only the leaders hold the hightest ethical and moral standards can they make their company more effective and effecient as well as receive more trust and profits. When it comes to the political areas, only the leader maintain the hightest ethical and moral standards, can they use their power to make a more better society.
这是原始的没有改过的。里面有很多单词拼写错误。而且我在写之前都想好例子了想好了怎么些例子和结构。但是拼写错误也很多。 [size=10.5pt]43 [/size][size=10.5pt][b]政治类[font=Times New Roman]To be an effective leader, a public official must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards.[/font][/b][/size][size=10.5pt][b][/b][/size]
[size=10.5pt]想要做一个有效的领导者，官员应该坚持最高的伦理道德标准[/size][size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt]同意作者的观点[/size][size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt]无论在各种领域领导者都需要最高的伦理道德标准[/size][size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt]第一段在商业领域需要领导者有最高的伦理道德标准否则就会使企业失败。任何商业领导者不能追求利益靠欺骗和损害消费者的利益否则一切都会暴露导致企业失败。如安然公司和亚瑟会计事务所。最后导致失败 [/size][size=10.5pt]Martha Stewart[/size][size=10.5pt]玛莎 斯图尔特[/size][size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt]第二段 政治领域 缺乏政治道德，领导者总是代表广大的人民的如果他们出现道德上的问题往往会引起巨大的社会动荡。伦理道德领导人必定失败如希特勒发动不正义的战争还有。 还有路易十六。水门事件[/size][size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt]第三段 坚持伦理道德是每个领导者应具备的条件，首先他们作为领导者就是众人的典范，应该为众人做好榜样。只有这样才能够作为有效的领导者。才能够使人们信服跟随他们。如马丁路德金和曼德拉[/size][size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt]TOPIC: ISSUE43 - "To be an effective leader, a public official must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards."[/size][size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt]WORDS: 595 TIME: 00:45:00 DATE: 2009/11/7 20:20:28[/size][size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt]The speaker asserts that in order to be an effective leader a public offical must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards. According to the issue, different people hold different answers in virtue of their respective perspectives.Many people believe that the an effective leader should be the model of the sciety who should hold the highest ethical and moral standards as the speaker maintains. However, in my point of view, I strongly agree with the speaker's assertion. As discussed below. [/size][size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt] First of all, it might be desirable to be in favor of the speaker's assertion with considering that the high ethical and moral standards play a significant role in the business which are related to the stability and development of a company. When it comes to business, only the effective leader who hold the high ethical and moral standards can lead the company to a new development period, otherwise the company will receive the[/size][size=10.5pt] bankruptcy.[/size][size=10.5pt] A typical example of this point is the Enron Scandal. Many company use the accunting to make earning and modify the balance sheet to portray a favorable depiction of its performance in order to get more investment from the public. These serious of immoral behaviors result in bankruptcy and loss of people's profits. [/size][size=10.5pt]Or consider the great womant Martha Stewart who lied to the congress about her conduct in stock market in order to make more profits. However, when her conduct was exposed to the mass media, her enterprise suffered from an earthquake.[/size][size=10.5pt]Therefore the highest ethical and moral standards is of importance to an effective leader who are major in business.[/size][size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt] When it comes to political areas, it is undeniable that any political leader who want to receive the respect and recognition from the public must maintain the higist ethical and mora standars. If a political officials and leaders would not maintain the hightest ethical and mora standards, the underpinning of any democratic countries would have been undermined. The political leader are inclined to abuse their power without holding a high ethical and moral standards. Two examples will be in support of this point. In the first place, [/size][size=10.5pt]presidents Nixon use his power to without information that he is related to the Watergate which not only result in his resignation but infringe [/size][size=10.5pt]the interests and benefits of people.[/size][size=10.5pt] Or consider the Iran-Conra affair. Several administration officials used their power to facilitate the sales of arms to Iran that ignore the democratic system. [/size][size=10.5pt]Both two examples above indicate that any political leaders who want to be an effective leader should be maintain the hightest ethcial and moral behavior instead of abusing their power.[/size][size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt] Finally, no matter what [/size][size=10.5pt]professions[/size][size=10.5pt] the leader is, any effective leaders should be[/size][size=10.5pt] charismatic [/size][size=10.5pt]and with highest moral and ethical. Because, they are the epitomes of our society who are supposed to be model of the[/size][size=10.5pt] mass[/size][size=10.5pt]. The effective leader [/size][size=10.5pt]invariably[/size][size=10.5pt] make the [/size][size=10.5pt]crucial [/size][size=10.5pt]decisions and ideas. Imagine the leader with a low ethical and moral standards, how could he [/size][size=10.5pt]convince[/size][size=10.5pt] people to believe him and follow him. The highest ethical and moral standars is the basis of an effective leaders. Only in this way, can the leader contribute to the progress of our society.[/size][size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt] To sum up, as discussed above, it is indisputable that a public offical must maintain the highest ethical and mora standards. Becuase, when it comes to business, only the leaders hold the hightest ethical and moral standards can they make their company more effective and effecient as well as receive more trust and profits. When it comes to the political areas, only the leader maintain the hightest ethical and moral standards, can they use their power to make a more better society.[/size]
[size=10.5pt]这是自己改过的[/size][size=10.5pt][/size] TOPIC: ARGUMENT51 - The following appeared in a medical newsletter.
"Doctors have long suspected that secondary infections may keep some patients from healing quickly after severe muscle strain. This hypothesis has now been proved by preliminary results of a study of two groups of patients. The first group of patients, all being treated for muscle injuries by Dr. Newland, a doctor who specializes in sports medicine, took antibiotics regularly throughout their treatment. Their recuperation time was, on average, 40 percent quicker than typically expected. Patients in the second group, all being treated by Dr. Alton, a general physician, were given sugar pills, although the patients believed they were taking antibiotics. Their average recuperation time was not significantly reduced. Therefore, all patients who are diagnosed with muscle strain would be well advised to take antibiotics as part of their treatment."
WORDS: 406 TIME: 00:30:00 DATE: 2009/11/7 16:13:26
In this argument, the arguer concludes that all patients who are diangosed with muscle strain would be well advised to take antibiotics as part of their treatment. To justity this conclusion, the arguer cites the results of the study of two groups of patients. However, careful examination and consideration of the study reveal that it fails to lend credible support to the recommendation. As far as I am concerned, the arguement is logically flawed at least three aspects, as follows.
A threshold problem with the arguement is that the study fails to be substantiated to be reliabe before I can accept any conclusion based on it. The arguer provide no evidence that the number of the patients who participated the study is statistically significant and whether the respondents were representative of the overall population of the patients. The arguer does not indicate how many patients took part in the study. The smaller the number, the less relaible the study. For example, if only ten to one hundred people took part in the study , the results of the study would be hightly doubtful.
Another problem with this argument is that the arguer simply indiates the correlation between the quicker recuperation and antibiotics is causal relationship. The arguer assumes the latter caused former. However, there is no compelling evidence to substantiate the causal relationship between the antibiotics and the quicker recuperation. Other factors fail to taken into account be the arguer. It is entirely possible that the first group of patients took another kind of medicine. Or perhaps the frist group of patients took exercise everyday that help them have a quiker recuperation.
Finally, the arguer falsly assumes that the two doctors have the same level ability and use the same method to tread the patients but does not provide any adequate evidence to substantiate that it is the case. It is entirely possible that Dr Newland have a better ability than Dr Alton. Or perhaps the Dr Newland took some effective sports medicine because he is a doctor who specializes
In conclusion, the arguer's arugment is unpersuasive. In order to maker it more acceptable, the arguer would need to provide more detailed infromation about the sample of the study. In addition, the arguer need to provide more evidence to stustantiate that other factors would not have an effect on the speed of recuperation. Besides, I would need to known more infromation about the two doctor's abilitly.
没写完啊
小津批改
[size=10.5pt]43 [/size][size=10.5pt][b]政治类[font=Times New Roman]To be an effective leader, a public official must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards.[/font][/b][/size][size=10.5pt][/size][size=10.5pt]想要做一个有效的领导者，官员应该坚持最高的伦理道德标准[/size][size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt]同意作者的观点[/size][size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt]无论在各种领域领导者都需要最高的伦理道德标准[/size][size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt]第一段在商业领域需要领导者有最高的伦理道德标准否则就会使企业失败。任何商业领导者不能追求利益靠欺骗和损害消费者的利益否则一切都会暴露导致企业失败。如安然公司和亚瑟会计事务所。最后导致失败 [/size][size=10.5pt]Martha Stewart[/size][size=10.5pt]玛莎 斯图尔特[/size][size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt]第二段 政治领域 缺乏政治道德，领导者总是代表广大的人民的如果他们出现道德上的问题往往会引起巨大的社会动荡。伦理道德领导人必定失败如希特勒发动不正义的战争还有。 还有路易十六。水门事件[/size][size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt]第三段 坚持伦理道德是每个领导者应具备的条件，首先他们作为领导者就是众人的典范，应该为众人做好榜样。只有这样才能够作为有效的领导者。才能够使人们信服跟随他们。如马丁路德金和曼德拉[/size][size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt]TOPIC: ISSUE43 - "To be an effective leader, a public official must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards."[/size][size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt]WORDS: 595 TIME: 00:45:00 DATE: 2009/11/7 20:20:28[/size][size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt]The speaker asserts that in order to be an effective leader a public offical must maintain the highest ethical and moral standards. According to the issue, different people hold different answers in virtue of their respective perspectives.Many people believe that the [color=red]（the删掉）[/color]an effective leader should be the model of the sciety who should hold the highest ethical and moral standards as the speaker maintains. However, in my point of view, I strongly agree with the speaker's assertion. As discussed below. [/size]
[size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt]First of all, it might be desirable to be in favor of the speaker's assertion with considering that the high ethical and moral standards play a significant role in the business which are related to the stability and development of a company. When it comes to business, only the effective leader who hold the high ethical and moral standards can lead the company to a new development period, otherwise the company will receive the[/size][size=10.5pt] bankruptcy.[/size][size=10.5pt] A typical example of this point is the Enron Scandal. Many company（[color=red]compani[/color][color=red]es[/color]) use[color=red]d[/color] the accunting ([color=red]accounting吧？[/color])to make earning and modify the balance sheet to [color=purple][color=red]portray a favorable depiction（这个搭配好像不还是很好用portray favorable prosperety怎么样？)[/color]，[/color] of its performance in order to get more investment from the public. These [color=red]serious of immoral（这个用法我没见过的）[/color] behaviors result[color=red]ed[/color] in bankruptcy and loss of people's profits. [/size][size=10.5pt]Or consider the great womant Martha Stewart who lied to the congress about her conduct in stock market in order to make more profits. However, when her conduct was exposed to the mass media, her enterprise suffered from an earthquake.[/size][size=10.5pt]Therefore the highest ethical and moral standards is of importance to an effective leader who are major in business.[/size]
[size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt] When it comes to political areas([color=red]area[/color]), it is undeniable that any political leader who want to receive the respect and recognition from the public must maintain the higist ethical and mora standars. If a political officials and leaders would not maintain the hightest ethical and mora standards, the underpinning of any democratic countries would have been undermined. The political leader are inclined to abuse their power without holding a high ethical and moral standards. Two examples will be in support of this point. In the first place, [/size][size=10.5pt]presidents Nixon use his power to without information that he is related to the Watergate which not only result[color=red]ed[/color] in his resignation but infringe [/size][size=10.5pt]the interests and benefits of people.[/size][size=10.5pt] Or consider the Iran-Conra affair. Several administration officials used their power to facilitate the sales of arms to Iran that ignore the democratic system. [/size][size=10.5pt]Both two examples above indicate that any political leaders who want to be an effective leader should be maintain the hightest ethcial and moral behavior instead of abusing their power.[/size]
[size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt] Finally, no matter what [/size][size=10.5pt]professions[/size][size=10.5pt] the leader is, any effective leaders should be[/size][size=10.5pt] charismatic [/size][size=10.5pt]and with highest moral and ethical. Because, they are the epitomes of our society who are supposed to be model of the[/size][size=10.5pt] mass[/size][size=10.5pt]. The effective leader [/size][size=10.5pt]invariably[/size][size=10.5pt] (这里我觉得用invariably不准确，最好用inevitably) make（[color=red]makes[/color]） the [/size][size=10.5pt]crucial [/size][size=10.5pt]decisions and ideas. Imagine the leader with a low ethical and moral standards, how could he [/size][size=10.5pt]convince[/size][size=10.5pt] people to believe him and follow him. The highest ethical and moral standars is the basis of an effective leaders([color=red]leader).[/color] Only in this way, can the leader contribute to the progress of our society.[/size]
[size=10.5pt][/size]
[size=10.5pt] To sum up, as discussed above, it is indisputable that a public offical must maintain the highest ethical and mora standards. Becuase, when it comes to business, only the leaders hold the hightest ethical and moral standards can they make their company more effective and effecient as well as receive more trust and profits. When it comes to the political areas, only the leader maintain the hightest ethical and moral standards, can they use their power to make a more better society.[/size]
[color=magenta]我改了这篇作文觉得很不错，赞成作者的观点，论据都列举的很好，注意一下名词的单复数，动词第三人称单数，还有时态，模考写的到那么多很不错了，语言上已经没漏了明显的累赘重复，很好，个人认为减少这些错误应该可以上5 分了吧，再接再厉
[/color]
批改
TOPIC: ARGUMENT51 - The following appeared in a medical newsletter."Doctors have long suspected that secondary infections may keep some patients from healing quickly after severe muscle strain. This hypothesis has now been proved by preliminary results of a study of two groups of patients. The first group of patients, all being treated for muscle injuries by Dr. Newland, a doctor who specializes in sports medicine, took antibiotics regularly throughout their treatment. Their recuperation time was, on average, 40 percent quicker than typically expected. Patients in the second group, all being treated by Dr. Alton, a general physician, were given sugar pills, although the patients believed they were taking antibiotics. Their average recuperation time was not significantly reduced. Therefore, all patients who are diagnosed with muscle strain would be well advised to take antibiotics as part of their treatment."
WORDS: 406 TIME: 00:30:00 DATE: 2009/11/7 16:13:26
In this argument, the arguer concludes that all patients who are diangosed with muscle strain would be well advised to take antibiotics as part of their treatment. To justity this conclusion, the arguer cites the results of the study of two groups of patients( [color=red][color=purple]最好后面加个从句[/color] 说.which prove that secondary infection may keep some patients from healing quickly after severe musle strain[/color][color=darkred]虽然评卷人知道这个，但是可以体现出概括的逻辑).[/color] However, careful examination and consideration of the study reveal that it fails to lend credible support to the recommendation. As far as I am concerned, the arguement is logically flawed at least three aspects, as follows.
A threshold problem with the arguement is that the study fails to be substantiated to be reliabe（[color=red]reliable[/color]） before I can accept any conclusion based on it. The arguer provide no evidence that the number of the patients who participated the study is statistically significant and whether the respondents were representative of the overall population of the patients. The arguer does not indicate how many patients took part in the study. The smaller the number [color=red]is[/color], the less relaible the study[color=red] indicates[color=darkred](这样显得比较standard[/color]）[/color]. For example, if only（[color=darkred][color=red]if only 是只要，？ 用perhaps吧[/color]）[/color] [color=darkred]ten to one hundred people took part in the study , the results of the study would be hightly doubtful.（ 而且还可以加上说不能代表地域的广泛性 the population of general geography ）[/color]
Another problem with this argument is that the arguer simply indiates the correlation between the quicker recuperation and antibiotics is causal relationship. The arguer assumes the latter caused（[color=red]causes[/color]) former. However, there is no compelling evidence to substantiate the causal relationship between the antibiotics and the quicker recuperation. Other factors fail to taken into account be the arguer. It is entirely possible that the first group of patients took another kind of medicine. Or perhaps the frist group of patients took exercise everyday that help them have a quiker recuperation.
Finally, the arguer falsly assumes that the two doctors have the same level ability and use the same method to tread the patients [color=red]but does not provide[/color] （[color=blue]without providing[/color]) any adequate evidence to substantiate that it is the case. It is entirely possible that Dr Newland have a better ability than Dr Alton. Or perhaps the Dr Newland took some effective sports medicine because he is a doctor who specializes
In conclusion, the arguer's arugment is unpersuasive. In order to maker it more acceptable, the arguer would need to provide more detailed infromation about the sample of the study. In addition, the arguer need to provide more evidence to stustantiate that other factors would not have an effect on the speed of recuperation. Besides, I would need to known more infromation about the two doctor's abilitly.
[color=#8b0000]每个批驳点段末加上小总结的话，别忘了哦，在练几次，你的速度肯定上的去的，不用担心[/color]
[color=#8b0000]还有如果后面的练习你的实际那还充裕的话，可以对最后一段提出建议，可以在深化一点的。不过，这个先不急，前面的三段质量上去了，最后自然就好了，我觉得[/color]
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