第一次写ISSUE,想哭.发上来给自己个激励作用，也希望大家能给点意见！谢谢了！
[font=Calibri][size=5]As long as people in a society are hungry or out of work or lack the basic skills needed to survive ,the use of public resources to support the arts is inappropriate –and .perhaps ,even cruel –when one considers all the portential use of money.[/size][/font][font=Calibri][size=5][/size][/font]
[font=Calibri][size=5]Inmagine a society while artist paint paintings ,absorbed and unconscious of what is happening out of the painting ,the lower class people dying around him .Forgive my poor imagination,but it now seems that is real in Israc. Will you accuse the artist ?My answer is yes .As long as people in a society are hungry or out of work or lack the basic skills to survive ,the use of public resources to support the arts is creul.[/size][/font]
[font=Calibri][size=5]As a human being,with a little sympathatic ,we consider it is a crime leaving the weaker die or dying. “we are born equal”writes in the Declaration of Independence .We all live on the earth ,we breathe the same air ,we drink the same water ,we own the same rights to live on .The terrific tsunami occurred in Indonesia had taken away thousands of peoples’ lifes and left thousands more people living with pain .At that time donations from all over the world tell me again the blaring side of human nature.[/size][/font]
[font=Calibri][size=5]Only before we can living a formal life ,technally,we are life organism ,we need food which provide us energies to make us alive.Based on that can we begin to think what is the universe ,rooted in philosophers’ hearts ,can we enjoy the beautiful life. For example ,If our country were in war ,that is to say we all might be dead man next second,our government would be in a mass ,bambardments happened everwhere and you hear shootings erveynight. Can you simply just shut your door and painting?Can you just waste the right time to save people who is blooding? I believe ,lao tzi,a famous ancient Chinese philosopher said “everyone has a kindness nature “, anyone will give a helping hand to those who need it.[/size][/font]
[font=Calibri][size=5]The use of public resources should give way to helping the withouts .It is a matter of “to be or not to be .” rather than a matter of be well-off in art or not. We persue art after we are not worrying about being hungry.[/size][/font]
[font=Calibri][size=5]Society as a whole ,wil not permit one group of people dying and other group just wait and watching. The well –off will and must make the most of it to creat a more amedable society for everyone to live in and live a better life.
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[[i] 本帖最后由 yujingfang 于 2009-11-1 00:12 编辑 [/i]] 自己顶一下！ 字好大哦，如果你的Word有拼写和语法检查的功能的话就好了 ::z8
难道说这篇文章很多拼写和语法错误。。。。
我再检查一遍。。。 我觉得one-sided的文章不容易写。这篇文章可以更好的从资助艺术本质和物质精神文明的联系来论述。具体可以看下这篇的北美范文。 谢谢哈！::z5 第一段：
拼错是个问题，另外，第一句可以再做改进，这样会更吸引读者的眼球。有一点值得表扬，没有用摸板吧？很好很自然！
第二段：
第一句的理由很难让我们信服，我们需要指责artists。毕竟你不可能时时刻刻注意到身边的人（而且通常来讲没有出名的artists也是穷困潦倒的- -）
你应该可以这样考虑，是否artists完全有举手之劳的时候，他们退缩了？是否别人求助于他们，而他们完全有能力的情况下拒绝了？等等
另外，最后一句，尽量变个表达方式，不要出现重复啦
第三段：
主旨需要突出下额，是否和前后paragraph相联系？那个排比用的不错，赞一下！
第四段：
人们的苦难和一些社会问题说得不错，但是，是否应该要用证据和例子说明artists没有帮助这些人呢？或者artists是否应该有必要帮助呢？恩恩
后面几段：
感觉论证方向有所偏移哦
A good start. 从文章可以看出，LZ对题目是有自己独特的想法的，而且一边倒的文章的确是很难写的，何况又是第一次啊，不容易不容易！所以，再赞一下！
PS: 意见纯属参考。加油！
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认真学习,活学活用.走召弓虽.
[url=http://www.cdbz10088.cn/][color=white]成都刻章[/color][/url][url=http://www.cdbz100.cn][color=white]成都办証[/color][/url] [quote]原帖由 [i]euanlu[/i] 于 2009-11-11 20:54 发表 [url=http://www.taisha.org/bbs/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=15973319&ptid=1375545][img]http://www.taisha.org/bbs/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]
第一段：
拼错是个问题，另外，第一句可以再做改进，这样会更吸引读者的眼球。有一点值得表扬，没有用摸板吧？很好很自然！
第二段：
第一句的理由很难让我们信服，我们需要指责artists。毕竟你不可能时时刻刻注 ... [/quote]
非常感谢！
我稍后修改下。觉得上面说得很有道理！拼写是个问题，要重视！
再次感谢@——@！
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