呵呵 Gleaner向大家展示自己的稻穗了 希望大家直言相对 拍痛了 我也不哭呵
TOPIC: ISSUE130 - "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."WORDS: 547 TIME: 01:00:00 DATE: 2009-11-7 10:17:46
The speaker claims that our society's destiny hinges on how children are socialized also with a regret that we haven't learned how to raise children to better the society. While our society has seen the increacing importance of the character of socielization, I tend to disagree with the speaker that we should emphasize the process of socialization on children's course of growingup.
In the high-comparative technology-driven economic society, the character to be tolerant towards opposite opinions and people who are different from us, to respect others’ enthic as well as behaviors, to colaborate with all the people we have to deal with is intensively needed. Consider the case in the business area, any member has to have a good relationship with his leaders, colleagues, subordinates, failing to do that, neither can he make contribution to the company in which corparation is stressed on, nor will he in a good mood to work. The principle also applys to the science reseachers, as there exists more and more elicts of human production, it become harder to develop a new idea which will serve people in a totally new way, the case in which scientists who emerse themselves in the efforts to inventation is rare, instead there are co-laboratory, where they work colaborately. Thus by comunicating opions, learning varies metholds during reaserch, they are more likely to bred new ideas, and ultimately serve the society.
In our international events this outstanding character plays a pressing role as well. For instanse, we have to woke together to draw ourselves from the danger of nuclear walfare, we must colaborate with each other to deal with the greenhouse gases which depelet the ozene layer and heat the earth to a jeopardized point, we participate in the World Trade Organization to seek a balance development of economics, also it's badly needed that we come up with an effetive recipe for the problem of the declining natural resourece in the earth. To summarize, how children are socialized determines how they will perfrom in the face of seeking the world peace, economic stability as well as the human beings surviwe.
Though socialization is an indispansible role in deciding our society development, I have to say it is not the most important one. After all our the blossom of our society is predicated on economic and technology expansion. We as human beings have the power to visit the planets far away from the earth, to evict the inate deficiency, to do planty of laborate work in seconds, all due to the hitechnology, which benefit more from the foundamental knowledge of science and administrating.
When it comes to the speaker’s regret that we haven't learned to make our children better socialized, I tend to frown on it for the reason that socialization is a spontanous process in children's bringing up. With the age growing, children have to face different people, all kinds of enviornment, whether like it or not, they will adjust themselves to fit the circumstance they are engaged in. Too much emphasis on the socielization means to instruct the children to do the audult-things earlier beyond their ages which may prove to be counterproductive, to name a few, children may lose the ingenuous childhood time they should have enjoyed, they may learn the unfaire ways to abtain something they desired, I'm afriad the enducation of being honest is tampered by premature which responses to the harshly action, therefore children tend to distrust others, what was worse, that they may grow into that habit of deciving, which will harm our society . What's more our children nowadays live a way cooperating with classmates, in close relationship with friends ,which they will apply to their adult lives. So we should worry about ourselves by the none-exists problem.
In conclusion, though it is not the most critical role nor it is needed that we stress the process of soicilization, the character of better socialization do serve our society as a whole a lot as to dealing with the complicit situations .
TOPIC: ARGUMENT51 - The following appeared in a medical newsletter.
"Doctors have long suspected that secondary infections may keep some patients from healing quickly after severe muscle strain. This hypothesis has now been proved by preliminary results of a study of two groups of patients. The first group of patients, all being treated for muscle injuries by Dr. Newland, a doctor who specializes in sports medicine, took antibiotics regularly throughout their treatment. Their recuperation time was, on average, 40 percent quicker than typically expected. Patients in the second group, all being treated by Dr. Alton, a general physician, were given sugar pills, although the patients believed they were taking antibiotics. Their average recuperation time was not significantly reduced. Therefore, all patients who are diagnosed with muscle strain would be well advised to take antibiotics as part of their treatment."
WORDS: 375 TIME: 00:45:00 DATE: 2009-11-7 10:17:46
The arguer contends that the patients should take antibiotics as part of their treatment for the reason that the antibiotics can heal severe muscle strain quickly, to support his idea he cites results of a study of two groups of patients, one take antibiotics regularly, the other take suger pills instead which turn out that the former have a reduced average recuperation time. At the first glance, the advice seems appealing, while, by examining exactly, I find it to be problematic.
The investment turns out to be impuissant when it provides no assurances that the study on which the advise depends on is statistically.lacking information about the exact number of patients participating in it, as we all know that if the number is too small there can have a incidence that determine the result instead of the scientific reaserch, what's more the argur haven't tell us the differiate two groups have the same muscle strain condition, then it may be the case that the fromer have a lighter one, it proves certain that they should overcome a litter earier. Thus, to support the idea the arguer must give evidence that the group have a large number and the particiapaters should in the same condition.
The second flew with the argur is that the patients by group are being treated by different doctors, we can say Dr.Newland, who specializes in sports medicine may be more similar with the muscle strain problem than Dr. Alton,a general physician which turns out that the patients treated by Dr.Newland will have a quickier recovery. Alse the argur fails to give envidence that the treatment of the different group have the same methods except for whether takeing antibiotics or not.
To summer up, if the argur want to draw the conclusion that antibiotics do heal the severe muscle strain quickly, he should provide profound envidence about the number of patients take part in the study, the same disaster coditions they are in. To ensure the rightness of the conclusion the argur also should make sure that the doctor take the same dealing methods with the only excepation that one group take antobiotics and the other one take sugar pills instead which serves no functions to the muscle strain. The speaker claims that our society's destiny hinges on how children are socialized also with a regret/delete a that we haven't learned how to raise children to better the society. While our society has seen the increacing importance of the character of socielization, I tend to disagree with the speaker that we should emphasize the process of socialization on children's course of growingup.
In the high-comparative technology-driven economic society, the character to be tolerant towards opposite opinions and people who are different from us, to respect others’ enthic as well as behaviors, to colaborate with all the people we have to deal with is intensively needed. /句子写得不错Consider the case in the business area, any member has to have a good relationship with his leaders, colleagues, subordinates, failing to do that, neither can he make contribution to the company in which corparation is stressed on, nor will he be/you missed this word/ in a good mood to work. The principle also applys to the science reseachers, as there exists more and more elicts of human production, it become harder to develop a new idea which will serve people in a totally new way, the case in which scientists who emerse themselves in the efforts to inventation is rare, instead there are co-laboratory, where they work colaborately. Thus by comunicating opions, learning varies metholds during reaserch, they are more likely to bred new ideas, and ultimately serve the society.
In our international events this outstanding character plays a pressing role as well. For instanse, we have to woke together to draw ourselves from the danger of nuclear walfare, we must colaborate with each other to deal with the greenhouse gases which depelet the ozene layer and heat the earth to a jeopardized point, we participate in the World Trade Organization to seek a balance development of economics, also it's badly needed that we come up with an effetive recipe for the problem of the declining natural resourece in the earth. To summarize, how children are socialized determines how they will perfrom in the face of seeking the world peace, economic stability as well as the human beings surviwe. 感觉你前面这两端论证没有跟教育学生社会化有什么联系，我知道你说了很多重要的特征，但是你没有说明是教育他们应该有的特征。你这两端都是在论证同一个观点，占的篇幅过多了。我觉得你可以以：Exceptions socialization, there are many good characters that they should get during their growth. 然后你说第一是什么特征，怎么重要了，第二是什么特征，怎么重要了，第三。。。这样你的思路就会很清晰了。
Though socialization is an indispansible role in deciding our society development, I have to say it is not the most important one. After all our the blossom of our society is predicated on economic and technology expansion. We as human beings have the power to visit the planets far away from the earth, to evict the inate deficiency, to do planty of laborate work in seconds, all due to the hitechnology, which benefit more from the foundamental knowledge of science and administrating. 这段有点孤单，不知道他和其他段落的联系。记住，一段一个分观点，这些分观点都是为了论证你的总观点。
When it comes to the speaker’s regret that we haven't learned to make our children better socialized, I tend to frown on it for the reason that socialization is a spontanous process in children's bringing up. With the age growing, children have to face different people, all kinds of enviornment, whether like it or not, they will adjust themselves to fit the circumstance they are engaged in. Too much emphasis on the socielization means to instruct the children to do the audult-things earlier beyond their ages which may prove to be counterproductive, to name a few, children may lose the ingenuous childhood time they should have enjoyed, they may learn the unfaire ways to abtain something they desired, I'm afriad the enducation of being honest is tampered by premature which responses to the harshly action, therefore children tend to distrust others, what was worse, that they may grow into that habit of deciving, which will harm our society . What's more our children nowadays live a way cooperating with classmates, in close relationship with friends ,which they will apply to their adult lives. So we should worry about ourselves by the none-exists problem. 你再查查什么是socialization 吧，只有把单词的概念弄清了，批论的时候才不错出错吧
In conclusion, though it is not the most critical role nor it is needed that we stress the process of soicilization你这里说什么socialization 呢？不知道的还以为你说社会文明化的过程呢，你要说明children socialization, the character of better socialization do serve our society as a whole a lot as to dealing with the complicit situations . 最后一段总结的不好，你要总结你所有的分观点，用不同的表达方式重述，然后再次拿出你第一段的总观点。这就是前后呼应
感觉你的句子和单词应用很好，问题就是文章的逻辑不够条例。每次看到一个论题，首先你要想你自己的观点是什么，然后想自己要从哪几个方面，独立的方面去支持你的总观点。这个文章的结构就出来了。第一段简单复述论题，然后提出你的观点。下面的论证段，你以前想的分几个方面论证你的观点就写几段，不要乱分段，段落之间也不要相互包含，一定是几个独立的论证方面。并且保证，你的每一段的第一句，一定就是你的总结的话，就是总起句，概括全段的内容。最后一段总结你的各个方面，用不懂的表达方式，然后再次说明你的观点。这样，改你文章的人，甚至不用看完你的文章就知道应该给你几分，他只需要看第一段，然后是论证段的第一句，然后最后一段，就知道你论证的是否有力度了。你觉得呢？
PS：写作文的时候用写字板，然后复制到word文档，自动修改你的错句子和错字。这样方便别人。打字的时候不要太快了，错字太多。
加油！ 加油加油！
[[i] 本帖最后由 wlxzm 于 2009-11-8 03:31 编辑 [/i]] The arguer contends that the patients should take antibiotics as part of their treatment for the reason that the antibiotics can heal severe muscle strain quickly, to support his idea he cites results of a study of two groups of patients, one take antibiotics regularly, the other take suger pills instead which turn out that the former have a reduced average recuperation time. At the first glance, the advice seems appealing, while, by examining exactly, I find it to be problematic.
The investment turns out to be impuissant when it provides no assurances that the study on which the advise depends on is statistically.lacking information about the exact number of patients participating in it, as we all know that if the number is too small there can have a incidence that determine the result instead of the scientific reaserch, what's more the argur haven't tell us the differiate two groups have the same muscle strain condition, then it may be the case that the fromer have a lighter one, it proves certain that they should overcome a litter earier. Thus, to support the idea the arguer must give evidence that the group have a large number and the particiapaters should in the same condition.
The second flew with the argur is that the patients by group are being treated by different doctors, we can say Dr.Newland, who specializes in sports medicine may be more similar with the muscle strain problem than Dr. Alton,a general physician which turns out that the patients treated by Dr.Newland will have a quickier recovery. Alse the argur fails to give envidence that the treatment of the different group have the same methods except for whether takeing antibiotics or not.
To summer up, if the argur want to draw the conclusion that antibiotics do heal the severe muscle strain quickly, he should provide profound envidence about the number of patients take part in the study, the same disaster coditions they are in. To ensure the rightness of the conclusion the argur also should make sure that the doctor take the same dealing methods with the only excepation that one group take antobiotics and the other one take sugar pills instead which serves no functions to the muscle strain.总结段写得太多了，论证段写得太少了。不均衡。一般情况，第一段和最后一段都不能超过100吧，论证段才是看你写得怎么样呢。
回复 2# wlxzm 的帖子
嗯，谢谢，错字我一定会注意的。就是论证的前两段我是想分领域来讲的，就是在商业领域社会化怎样怎样，在科学领域怎样怎样，然后在我们国际问题这个大的问题上怎样怎样，这样也不是太乱吧？还有我会注意每段的第一句话总结的力度和末段的。呵呵 谢谢啦
我自己又改了改 请直接看这个吧 多提意见 谢谢
TOPIC: ISSUE130 - "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."WORDS: 547 TIME: 01:00:00 DATE: 2009-11-7 10:17:46
The speaker claims that our society's destiny hinges on how children are socialized also with a regret that we haven't learned how to raise children to better the society. While our society has seen the increacing importance of the character of socielization, I tend to disagree with the speaker that we should emphasize the process of socialization on children's course of growingup.
In the high-comparative technology-driven economic society, the character to be tolerant towards opposite opinions and people who are different from us, to respect others’ enthic as well as behaviors, to colaborate with all the people we have to deal with is intensively needed. Consider the case in the business area, any member has to have a good relationship with his leaders, colleagues, subordinates, failing to do that, neither can he make contribution to the company in which corparation is stressed on, nor will he in a good mood to work. The principle also applys to the science researchs, as there exists more and more elites of human production, it become harder to develop a new idea which will serve people in a totally new way, the case in which scientists who fling themselves into the efforts to inventation is rare, instead there are co-laboratory, where they work as a team. Thus by communion of opions, learning varies metholds during research, they are more likely to breed new ideas, and ultimately serve the society.
In our international events this outstanding character plays a pressing role as well. For instance, we have to woke together to draw ourselves from the danger of nuclear walfare, we must collaborate with each other to deal with the greenhouse gases which deplete the ozene layer and heat the earth to a jeopardized point, we participate in the World Trade Organization to seek a balance development of economics, also it's badly needed that we come up with an effetive recipe for the problem of the declining natural resourece in the earth. To summarize, how children are socialized determines how they will perfrom in the face of seeking the world peace, economic stability as well as the human beings survival.
Though socialization is an indispensable role in deciding our society development, I have to say it is not the most important one. After all the blossom of our society is based upon the economic and technology expansion. We as human beings have the power to visit the planets far away from the earth, to evict the inate deficiency, to do plenty of labour in seconds, all due to the hitechnology, which benefit more from the foundamental knowledge of science and administrating other than the character of socialization.
When it comes to the speaker’s regret that we haven't learned to make our children better socialized, I tend to frown on it for the reason that socialization is a spontaneous process in children's bringing up. With the age growing, children have to face different people, all kinds of enviornment, whether like it or not, they will adjust themselves to fit the circumstance they are engaged in,thus they become socielized.Too much emphasis on the socielization means to instruct the children to do the audult-things earlier beyond their ages which may prove to be counterproductive, to name a few, children may lose the ingenuous childhood time they should have enjoyed, they may learn the unfaire ways to abtain something they desired, I'm afriad the enducation of being honest is tampered by premature which responses to the harshly action, therefore children tend to distrust others, what was worse, that they may grow into that habit of deceiving, which will harm our society . What's more our children nowadays live a harmonious way cooperating with classmates, in close relationship with friends ,which they will apply to their adult lives. So we should worry ourselves with the none-exists problem.
In conclusion, though it is not the most critical role nor it is needed urgently that we stress the process of children’s being soicialized, the character of better socialization do serve our society as a whole a lot as to dealing with the complicated situations .
TOPIC: ARGUMENT51 - The following appeared in a medical newsletter.
"Doctors have long suspected that secondary infections may keep some patients from healing quickly after severe muscle strain. This hypothesis has now been proved by preliminary results of a study of two groups of patients. The first group of patients, all being treated for muscle injuries by Dr. Newland, a doctor who specializes in sports medicine, took antibiotics regularly throughout their treatment. Their recuperation time was, on average, 40 percent quicker than typically expected. Patients in the second group, all being treated by Dr. Alton, a general physician, were given sugar pills, although the patients believed they were taking antibiotics. Their average recuperation time was not significantly reduced. Therefore, all patients who are diagnosed with muscle strain would be well advised to take antibiotics as part of their treatment."
WORDS: 375 TIME: 00:45:00 DATE: 2009-11-7 10:17:46
The arguer contends that the patients should take antibiotics as part of their treatment for the reason that the antibiotics can heal severe muscle strain quickly, to support his idea he cites results of a study of two groups of patients, one take antibiotics regularly, the other take suger pills instead which turn out that the former have a reduced average recuperation time. At the first glance, the advice seems appealing, while, by examining exactly, I find it to be problematic.
The investment turns out to be impuissant when it provides no assurances that the study on which the advise depends on is statistically valid.lacking information about the exact number of patients participating in it, as we all know that if the number is too small there can have a incidential factor that determine the result instead of the scientific research, what's more the arguer haven't tell us the differentiated groups have the same muscle strain condition, it is entirely possible that the fromer have a lighter one, it proves certain that they should overcome a litter earlier. Thus, to support the idea the arguer must give evidence that the group have a sufficient number and the participants should in the same muscle strain condition.
The second flaw with the arguer is that the patients by group are being treated by different doctors, without envidence that they have the same treatment level, we can say Dr.Newland, who specializes in sports medicine may be more familiar with the muscle strain problem than Dr. Alton,a general physician, which turns out that the patients treated by Dr.Newland will have a quickier recovery. The arguer also fails to provide proof that the treatment of the different group have the same methods except for whether takeing antibiotics or not, it is equally possible that through other difference, such as the additional taking of else madicine, which have a direct influce on the therapy.What’s more, the climate, which also prove to tamper with the cure, as well as the food the patients take in during the study period whose content may make a difference, should keep the same.
To sum up, if the arguer want to draw the conclusion that antibiotics do heal the severe muscle strain quickly, he should provide profound envidence about the number of patients take part in the study, the same disease coditions they are in. To ensure the exactitude of the conclusion the arguer also should make sure that the doctor take the same healing methods with the only excepation that one group take antobiotics and the other one take sugar pills instead which serves no functions to the muscle strain. I also expect to know that the antibiotics will not be fit for all the patients, if a hypersusceptibility is followed, it’s unwise to make such a general conclusion.
呵呵 意识到issues的错误了 调整了一下结构
The speaker claims that our society's destiny hinges on how children are socialized also with a regret that we haven't learned how to raise children to better the society. While our society has seen the increacing importance of the character of socielization, I tend to disagree with the speaker that we should emphasize the process of socialization on children's course of growingup.In the high-comparative technology-driven economic society, the character to be tolerant towards opposite opinions and people who are different from us, to respect others’ enthic as well as behaviors, to colaborate with all the people we have to deal with is intensively needed. The principle applies to our daily life,in our international events it plays a pressing role as well. For instance, we have to woke together to draw ourselves from the danger of nuclear walfare, we must collaborate with each other to deal with the greenhouse gases which deplete the ozene layer and heat the earth to a jeopardized point, we participate in the World Trade Organization to seek a balance development of economics, also it's badly needed that we come up with an effetive recipe for the problem of the declining natural resourece in the earth. To summarize, how children are socialized determines how they will perfrom in the face of seeking the world peace, economic stability as well as the human beings survival.
Though socialization is an indispensable role in deciding our society development, I have to say it is not the most important one. After all the steabilty of our society is based upon emores and law; at the same time the blossom of the community benefits from the economic and technology expansion. Our society has kept to be a peaceful one, as we all know, human beings by nature have the characters of egoism and aggressiveness which always serve to make debate, it is our ethics that tells us not to,and the law that warns us far away from the devil.When it comes to the prosperity of the society, we have the power to visit the planets millions of milimetres away from the earth, to evict the inate deficiency, to do plenty of labour in seconds, all due to the hitechnology, which benefit more from the foundamental knowledge of science and administrating other than the character of socialization.
When it comes to the speaker’s regret that we haven't learned to make our children better socialized, I tend to frown on it for the reason that socialization is a spontaneous process in children's bringing up. With the age growing, children have to face different people, all kinds of enviornment, whether like it or not, they will adjust themselves to fit the circumstance they are engaged in. Too much emphasis on the socielization means to instruct the children to do the audult-things earlier beyond their ages which may prove to be counterproductive, to name a few, children may lose the ingenuous childhood time they should have enjoyed, they may learn the unfaire ways to abtain something they desired, I'm afriad the enducation of being honest is tampered by premature which responses to the harshly action, therefore children tend to distrust others, what was worse, that they may grow into that habit of deceiving, which will harm our society . What's more our children nowadays live a harmonious way cooperating with classmates, in close relationship with friends ,which they will apply to their adult lives in the same manner. So we should worry ourselves with the none-exists problem.
In conclusion, though it is not the most critical role when it comes to the exists and flourish of the world, nor it is needed urgently that we stress the process of children’s being soicialized, the character of better socialization do serve our society as a whole a lot as to dealing with the complicated situations .
Gleaner 的第二束稻香
TOPIC: ISSUE50 - "In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."WORDS: 513 TIME: 01:00:00 DATE: 2009-11-8 10:20:07
The author contends that all faculty should work outside the academia, in professions relevant to the courses they engage in, for the benefit that the quality of instruction level of the collages will surely improved. Consider the fact that the economic and computer realms have witnessed the boon of having a colse relationship with the free market, I agree with the author. Otherwise, I tend to hold the opinion that the autor unnecessarily oversimplified the problem.
I agree with the author for the reason that professors working with the related professions can help in sparking the interest of the students who then make a decision that they want to take the field as their career, for the reason that as the faculty work outside the academia they will have a fresh insight of the field, what's more they will bring into the class practical and real-world examples which will serve to vivid the classes instead of the bald principles and theories discussed in the text book.By working with the related professions outside the academic area teacher will more likely to impart usefull infromed career direction, for that they well know what work entails in the field and the current market condition. After all, students who are mystified by the unknow future and those who want to make a devotion in the field should have the benefits to make effective endeavors.
Then truns to the reason why I disagree with the author, first, as we come into realization if we reflect for a while, not all courses have relevant professions outside academia for the faulty to take part in. To support that one should look no further than the subject of phiolosophy, never can we come up with a career the prefessiors can engege in , let alone improving the quality of instruction. Another example aptly illustrate the point involves the chemistry teaching, we know, every chapter have novel stuff, we learn the ** of soda, the contaminent emissions, the antisepsis medications, if the professiors are asked to take relevent jobs, he will have to enter the food factory, industry, also the hospital, by practical experience, we know it is quite impossible.
The author neglect the couterproductive effects of his harshly genelization. As we all know we human beings have limited energy, thus, if the faculty take a part time job, can they gurantee the basic quality of insruction which maybe declined by a wearisome problems as well as the distractions. Worse still, they may forge their original career as professors due to salary matters and so on, which is beyond the author's expectation and control. In a society, where there are not enough careers even for the gradutates, as we can see in the newspaper the depression of employment, it is unwise to adovocate that faculty take a part time job.
To summarize, since professions in a close relationship with the courses of collage or university are not often exist, and the detrimental effects of the part-time job may have, the author should have a more sound proposal. Improving the faculty's know-how basis by offering regular lectures, holding a meeting where the teacher in the same realms communite with one each other and discuss how to improve the quality of their teaching are feasible advise in my view.
TOPIC: ARGUMENT53 - Thirteen years ago, researchers studied a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice. They discovered that these infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, a time when their mothers' production of melatonin-a hormone known to affect some brain functions-would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight. In a follow-up study conducted earlier this year, more than half of these children-now teenagers-who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy. Clearly, increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life.
WORDS: 410 TIME: 00:45:00 DATE: 2009-11-8 10:20:07
The arguer draws the conclusion that increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life, to support the contension, the arguer cites the study of 25 infants who are conceived in early autume when their mother may have a higher levels of melatonin, the now teenagers after 13 years, show signs of shyness. At first glance, the analysis seems somewhat profound, after a meticulous examining, I find it to be problematic.
To begin with, the argur gives no envidense that the study upon which the argument rests is statistically creditable. Only 25 infants involed in the study, it's possible that the incidence result in the results of the study other than the scientifical research, so the arguer have to provide the
The second flaw in the argument involes the defination of shyness. The argur unnecessarily equate a mild distress with shyness, we know, distress stress the inner emotions while shyness emphsize the awkward apparence in the unfamilar situation. To addition, different people may have a various of defination of shyness, we consider somebody to be exterior since he is talktive with people aroud him, he himself may hold that he is shy for the reason that he become neverse in front of a mass of strangers. Thus, to make the conclusion ploudible, the argur must provide a standard measure to define what shyness is.
The mistake happens when the argur make conclusions predicated on the assumption that in autumn when the mothers are pregnented, their increased production of melatonin will surely have a influce on the childern's later days shyness, while no envidence is provided to supported that, I tent to think that the hormone in mothers have nothing to do with the children, say nothing about significient influce. To furter, as we know, the physical action of the child maybe determined by a myriad of factors, does other hormone alternatively cause the shyness, or the bringeingup enviroment determines the result, lacking those envidence, the argur should not conclusion harshly.
To summary, to make the argument a profound one, the argue should give a effective statistics of the participanters innoveled in the study, what's more only have a scientifical defination of shyness can we begin our research, the argur should also rule out other possible factors to safely draw the conclusion. To ensure the correctiveness of the contension, I expect a even longer research, overall a 13-years can not draw the foundamental conclusion, shyness may dispear as they become adualts.
[[i] 本帖最后由 gleaner238 于 2009-11-8 23:21 编辑 [/i]]
第二次的修改了下 呵呵 多提意见呵
TOPIC: ISSUE50 - "In order to improve the quality of instruction at the college and university level, all faculty should be required to spend time working outside the academic world in professions relevant to the courses they teach."WORDS: 513 TIME: 01:00:00 DATE: 2009-11-8 10:20:07
The author contends that all faculty should work outside the academia, in professions relevant to the courses they engage in, for the benefit that the quality of instruction level of the collages will surely improved. Consider the fact that the economic and computer realms have witnessed the boon of having a colse relationship with the free market, I agree with the author. Otherwise, I tend to hold the opinion that the autor unnecessarily oversimplified the problem.
I agree with the author for the reason that professors working with the related professions can help in sparking the interests of the students who then make a decision that they want to take the field as their career, for the reason that as the faculty work outside the academia they will have a fresh insight of the field, what's more they will bring into the class practical and real-world examples which will serve to vivid the classes instead of the bald principles and theories discussed in the text book.By working with the related professions outside the academic area teacher will more likely to impart useful infromed career directions, for that they well know what work entails in the field and the current market conditions. After all, students who are mystified by the unknow future and those who want to make a devotion in the field should enjoy the benefits to make effective endeavors.
Then truns to the reason why I disagree with the author, first, as we come into realization if we reflect for a while, not all courses have relevant professions outside academia for the faulty to take part in. To support that one should look no further than the subject of phiolosophy, never can we come up with a career the prefessiors can engege in , let alone improving the quality of instruction. Another example aptly illustrate the point involves the chemistry teaching, we know, every chapter have novel stuff, we learn the ** of soda, the contaminent emissions, the aspectic medicines, if the profession is asked to take relevent jobs, he will enter the food facultoy, industry, also the hospital, by common sense, we know it is quite impossible.
The author also neglects the couterproductive effects of his harshly genelization. As we all know we human beings have limited energy, thus, if the faculty take a part time job, can they gurantee the basic quality of insruction which, I’m afraid, may be declined by a tiresome problem or distraction. Worse still, they may forge the prossional career due to salary matters and so on, which is beyond the author's expectation and control. In a society, where there are not enough career even for the gradutates, as we can see in the newspaper, it is unsagacious to adovocate that faculty take two jobs at the same time.
To summary, since professions have a close relationship with the courses in collage or university are not often exist, and the detrimental effects of the part-time job may have, the author should have a more sound proposal. Improve the faculty's know-how basis by offering regular lectures, hold a meeting where the teachers in the same realms communite with others and discuss how to improve the quality of their teaching are feasible advise in my view.
TOPIC: ARGUMENT53 - Thirteen years ago, researchers studied a group of 25 infants who showed signs of mild distress when exposed to unfamiliar stimuli such as an unusual odor or a tape recording of an unknown voice. They discovered that these infants were more likely than other infants to have been conceived in early autumn, a time when their mothers' production of melatonin-a hormone known to affect some brain functions-would naturally increase in response to decreased daylight. In a follow-up study conducted earlier this year, more than half of these children-now teenagers-who had shown signs of distress identified themselves as shy. Clearly, increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into later life.
WORDS: 410 TIME: 00:45:00 DATE: 2009-11-8 10:20:07
The arguer draws the conclusion that increased levels of melatonin before birth cause shyness during infancy and this shyness continues into the children’s later life, to support the contension, the arguer cites the study of 25 infants who are conceived in early autume when their mother may have a higher levels of melatonin, the now teenagers, after 13 years, assert that they show signs of shyness. At first glance, the analysis seems somewhat profound, after a meticulous examining, I find it to be problematic.
To begin with, the arguer gives no envidence that the study upon which the argument rests is statistically credible. Only 25 infants involed in the study, while the arguer applies the result to a general suggestion, lacking a sufficient number to substansiate the study, it is totally impossible that the infants involed in the study have
The second flaw in the argument involes the defination of shyness. The arguer unnecessarily equate a mild distress with shyness, we know, distress stresses the inner emotions while shyness emphsize the awkward apparence in the unfamilar situation. To addition, different people may have a various of defination of shyness, we consider somebody to be exterior since he is talktive with people aroud him, he himself may hold that he is shy for the reason that he become neverse in front of a mass of strangers. Thus, to make the conclusion plousible, the arguer must provide a standard measure to define what shyness is.
The mistake happens when the argurr makes conclusions predicated on the assumption that in autumn when the mothers are pregnanted, their increased production of melatonin will surely have a influence on the childern's later days’ shyness, while no envidence is provided to supported that, it’s most likely that the circumstance where they are brought up, or a herility, that determine the shy signs they performed. What’s more even it’s the rise of melatonin that affect the later days’ shyness, while, only this I don’t think will cause the compliciated action of the human being, as we all know many hormones may work together to determine a certain action. Thus without considering or ruling out other althernatives, the auguer makes a uncredible suggestion.
To summary, to make the argument a profound one, the argue should give a effidable statistics of the participanters innoveled in the study, what's more only have a scientifical defination can we begin our research, the argur should also rule out other possible factors to safely draw the conclusion. To ensure the correctiveness of the contension, I expect a even longer research, after all a 13-years can not draw the foundamental conclusion, shyness may dispear as they become adualts.
gleaner的第五次作业 呵呵 大家提意见嘛
TOPIC: ISSUE41 - "Such nonmainstream areas of inquiry as astrology, fortune-telling, and psychic and paranormal pursuits play a vital role in society by satisfying human needs that are not addressed by mainstream science."WORDS: 618 TIME: 01:00:00 DATE: 2009-11-14 11:29:57
Are nonmainstream areeas of inquiry playing a vital role in society by adressing some problems that mainstream science can not, thus, astrology, fortune-telling and, psychic and paranormal are critical to the human life? The author claims so, in my point of view, although relying on such nonmainstream on a blind faith people sometimes go to the extremes, in most cases, nonmainstream do benefit the society as a whole.
To begin with, I want to give a clear identification difinition of what do mainstream or and nonmainstream means, by literally understanding, we know the former represents a general acceptance, and benefits to a mass of the population. While the latter, on the contrary, is not accept generally for the reason of being against with the interests of the majority, an example aptly illustrateing this point immediatelly comes to my mind that when Copernicus, the first one, who questions the notion that the fixed position of the earth in a fixed position at the centre of unniverse widly accepted by people at that time, his idea was ignoredced as the paraodoxheresy, as we know now, time identify his correct, and the notion of a sun-central universe shift to be mainstream. Another origion of the nonmainstream cames derives from realm phenomena that our scientific reasoning cannot explain, such as the UFO, which confused scientists for a long time.
Looking into the real world, empirical knowledge indicates the importance of the so called nonmainstream such as astrology, fortun-telling and so on. This can be seen espicially in the primeval stage of the human history when scientific system has not came into being, people rely on the notion of supersitition which is known as nonmainstream to explain why the sun rise and set down, and how rain is formed, and all the daily seeing. Even in the highly-technology society today, science fails to cover all the mysteries, thus people who faces with the disease such as cancor which scientifical treatment can not save often turn to the nonmainstream for help. The fact is that after a optimistic result of the fortune-telling, the patient tends to be in high spirits, and the ill may disapear as a consequence, which the doctor, with a multitude of scientific knowledgy of the theropy, can not tell why this miracle happens.
The funtion of nonmainstream is not limited to the patients, every normal life has something to do with a nonlogic belief. People become scared after the consciousness of a mortal life, to alleviate the timeless fearness they try to seek an after-life to continue their lives, it's understandable for that it is human nature that he want to exist forever, and by doing this they do no harm to the other people or society,.What’s more, people who belive in the after-life might always in a good behavior for the better life they will get in the other world as a reward.
The disagreement with my view goes that people will become unreasonable, or anti-social without the leading of science, while, I admit that an extrem pursuit of nonmainstream will do harm to the people themselves as well as the society, it is little that case if not by the common sense, after all, a fortune decided by a tarot card, though people prefer to, it is just a indicate, they themselves know clearly. Those are not paradox for the reason that people have a basic knowledge of science.
To summary, the nonmainstream areas can help people to feel better about themselves and even in some special case to survive, and with a guidence of mainstream, people turn to the nonmainstream for some othewise cannot solved relife, though sounds unreasonable, it really benefits their course of lives. Thus in the scientific knowledge leading society, it should be blameable that people turn to nonmainstream for solace.
TOPIC: ARGUMENT9 - The following appeared in a memorandum from a dean at Omega University.
"Fifteen years ago, Omega University implemented a new procedure that encouraged students to evaluate the teaching effectiveness of all their professors. Since that time, Omega professors have begun to assign higher grades in their classes, and overall student grade averages at Omega have risen by thirty percent. Potential employers apparently believe the grades at Omega are inflated; this would explain why Omega graduates have not been as successful at getting jobs as have graduates from nearby Alpha University. To enable its graduates to secure better jobs, Omega University should now terminate student evaluation of professors."
WORDS: 407 TIME: 00:45:00 DATE: 2009-11-14 11:29:57
In this argument, the arguer suggests that the Omega University should terminate students evaluation of professors which was tabled fifteen years ago, for the benefits that students of this university will get a secure better job, the reason for this contension involes that since the implementation, the students get a higher marks, which the potential employers consider as inflated,on the contrary, Alpha University, which does have such a procedure enjoys a successful job getting. At first glance, the reasoning seems somewhat plausible, while after a meticulous examination, several fallacious facets are found in the argument.
First, the arguer unnecessarily commits the fallacy that the procedure of encouraging students to evaluate the teaching of effectiveness of the professors leads to the inflated grades, lacking evidence that it is the case, it is totally possible that since the procedure come into effect, the professors who wants to get a higher evalution from the students pays more attention to the quality of their teaching, and become more careful with the classes which spark the motive of the students who want to spend more time on their studying, then explains the result of a higher mark..
Secondly, the arguer assums that Alpha University possess a higher job abtain rate is due to a comparative lower marks, nonetheless, no evidence is provided that it is the case. It is most likely that Alpha who wants to get a superiority in the job market, improve the students mark by a broader rates, thus it is the higher mark of Alpha University that help the students get successful jobs, thus, the contension is a totally mistake..
Last but not least, the arguer pays little attention to the inherent differece between the two universities. Whether Alpha has a higher rank, or whether it enjoys more hot majors which make its students more easily to get desired jobs? And also, the arguer fails to rule out the other measures the Alpha University takes to improve the job getting rates.
To sum up, facing such limited evidence, the arguer failes to validate the suggestion. To strengthen this contension, assurance that the real improvement of the mark students in Omega get is inflated, and Alpha's graduates have a lower score, also, I should be informed that the two universities has the same teaching standards and no other difference except the grades the students get according to whether the university takes the procedure of students evalutating the effectivenes or not.
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